


Without the Evil

by RoleplayFanfics



Series: The Evil Outside [2]
Category: The Evil Within (Video Game)
Genre: M/M, Multi, Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-27
Updated: 2018-12-28
Packaged: 2019-08-08 07:08:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 25,880
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16424720
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RoleplayFanfics/pseuds/RoleplayFanfics
Summary: Continuing on the timeline based on The Evil Intentions, telling the tale of Ruvik's life in the outside world, after he finally meets up with a now broken detective. The work was written before The Evil Intentions.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Ruvik/Leslie is played by Teddy, Sebastian is played by Nathan.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You are confused, detective Castellanos."
> 
> "The things you speak of must have been a bad dream."
> 
> "Sometimes the human brain makes matters and situations up to cope with the horrors it has seen."
> 
> "There is no such thing as STEM, there is no such technology out there."
> 
> "Maybe, for your own sake, you should consider letting it go, and thinking of it as a bad dream."
> 
> Sebastian hadn’t meant to drink before lunch, that was way too early, and pretty damn tragic. However, the newly rehired detective had felt the need, badly, more than ever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I just have to say, we started writing this before The Evil Within 2 came out, and I was so sure that a game franchise wouldn't let someone line Sebastian be scarred and have proper emotional trauma; hence, I wanted to make up for it and write how a person really would react after something like the Beacon incident. Then the game came and surprised me as Hell with building half the plot on his trauma. - Nathan

**Ruvik:**

The man stopped before the door, once again reading the name sign on said door; that was at least the third time he read the name on a sign today. It was not like the name before him was the most common one, it was pretty much impossible for him to have come to the wrong Sebastian Castellanos. Not to mention that he had been driven there by a Mobius operative, no, this could not be the wrong door… So why was he so very hesitant to ring the doorbell?

Ruvik pulled away from the door, walking down the stairs to the window halfway down from the door. He looked down at the white car that had delivered him here, spotting the driver looking up at him, despite the eyes hidden behind sunglasses, it was pretty clear that the man was observing the window from where he was peeking down at him. He supposed that he would have to live with their breaths down his neck for the rest of his life.

No point in prolonging it. He turned away from the window, returning to the door. For the fourth time, he checked the nametag. Sebastian Castellanos. He raised his hand and pressed the doorbell, stepping back from the door to avoid getting it in his face. Pathetic… why was he so nervous over seeing him again? There was nothing to be this skittish about…

After Beacon fell, Ruben Victoriano had gotten to enjoy freedom for about five minutes before Mobius got to him. During those few minutes, he had learned awfully well just how weak the body of Leslie Withers was.

It had been such a rush, to finally get to the boy that he had chased for so long, to have the albino surrender and come to him. To get a new body, one that wasn’t horrendously burnt, that didn’t cause him pain every day and night… It was a feeling that was very hard to describe. When he had exited the doors of the mental hospital, every impression had been so strong… The feeling of the wind against his skin, the slightly wet air that came after rain, the fabric of the restraining jacket clinging to undamaged skin, naked feet against the cold pavement, moving without hurting… He had been walking in such a daze, feeling like a newborn calf that was trying it’s legs for the first time… Until someone had placed a hand on his shoulder. Then the reality came back once more and he was taken from the world and to an ambulance.

The men that had captured him had no idea who he was or what had happened to him. They just saw a confused mental patient that was wandering around on his own. Ruvik quickly realized that even if they weren’t Mobius, there was sure to be people from that organization here. Showing any sort of signs that he wasn’t the mental patient Leslie Withers would likely resort in a lifetime of capture or a stray bullet in the head. He was not about to die a second time, not after finally having tasted freedom and a life without pain… He didn’t have much of a choice… He would have to play Leslie, slowly and steadily getting better and then… then… he could get out…

Ruvik had been right in his suspicions that they would take him to a different mental hospital. It didn’t take very long until Mobius agents showed up, not that they made themselves known but there was something in their eyes that made it clear that they were trying to see through him, judging every movement he made to see if it truly was Leslie Withers that had come out of the STEM or not. It was almost fun, getting to be the one to toy with them.

During his time at the second mental hospital, he learned something very curious. Leslie was not gone. He hadn’t been caught in STEM and killed, but he was actually still in his body, hiding out in the back of his mind. Ruvik couldn’t exactly speak to him but he could feel traces of emotions and especially fear coming from him, they… could almost communicate. Almost. There were times when he could pull back and let the other one out, giving him back control of his body. Ruvik would have loved to explore that a lot more but the contrast was so different and obvious that it was simply just foolish to let the mental patient drive.

The days passed and ‘Leslie Withers’ was slowly starting to speak, slowly learning how to communicate. The malnourished body was slowly changing into a thin one, the muscles coming back and some of the color returning to his pale face. He was clearly getting steadily better and after almost five months, the people began to speak of letting him back into society. The biggest problem with that was simply the fact that he had no family and no relatives to go to. He did have money though, all the money that Leslie family had owned before they were killed did belong to the albino, but he couldn’t quite let them know that he knew perfectly well how to handle money.

It was actually the albino himself that whispered the name to Ruvik, the one person that could actually accept them, and the one person Mobius was already keeping their eyes on. Sebastian Castellanos. He had been through Beacon and was most likely still upset about everything that he was put through… There was no way that that organization would just let that man run around free without any supervision… Marcelo Jimenez had acted somewhat out of line in making him the core of STEM, there was a very high possibility that Ruvik himself was kept alive now because they might need his assistance in the future. Placing him and Sebastian under the same roof seemed to be a pretty good solution for Mobius, making it easier for them all… He carefully suggested the detective, making a big deal out of Leslie feeling good and safe around the man.

The paperwork went surprisingly fast, so fast that Ruvik highly doubted that it was legitimate. Not that it really mattered to him, they somehow got Sebastian to sign the paperworks (no, no way that was his signature for real…), and not before long, he found himself in a car, going to the detective’s apartment. He had been given a small bag with another set of clothing and some medicine. He had been given some very normal-looking clothes, a set of dark blue soft pants and a matching hoodie with a simple white T-shirt under. The clothes were all a little too big but they felt heavenly compared to the straightjacket that he had been living in the past six months. He had gotten a letter too, one for Sebastian but he thought of throwing it away as soon as he could…

The door opened and Ruvik pulled his own mind back, letting the actual Leslie take over.

As soon as the man’s roughed up frame showed in the door, the duckling moved forward and into his arms, trying to give him a hug. The much younger male hadn’t quite figured out how one actually hugged and instead ended up pushing himself up to the man’s chest, nuzzling him as subtle, happy noises left his throat. The noises soon took somewhat shape into words, even if the progress had been false, Leslie was able to somewhat communicate with the people he felt safe and happy around.

“Seb… Seb… Sebastian.”

 

 **Sebastian:**  
_You are confused, detective Castellanos._

_The things you speak of must have been a bad dream._

_Sometimes the human brain makes matters and situations up to cope with the horrors it has seen._ _  
_  
_There is no such thing as STEM, there is no such technology out there._

_Maybe, for your own sake, you should consider letting it go, and thinking of it as a bad dream._

 

Sebastian hadn’t meant to drink before lunch, that was way too early, and pretty damn tragic. However, the newly rehired detective had felt the need, badly, more than ever.  
  
Had anyone ever asked his relatives or friends, no one would have believed that anything could really shake Sebastian Castellanos worse than the loss of his daughter and wife. Actually, even back then, it seemed to surprise them that the man could be shaken and lost, at all; apparently, that was not exactly fit for the man they knew as detective Castellanos, that, despite his forward and borderline aggressive ways, had a tendency to be able to just handle anything that was thrown at him, making him the ideal personality for his line of work.  
  
Sebastian was rarely the sort of person to act out, and had an almost uncanny ability to keep it cool in the heat of the moment. It had saved his life numerous times, and during the damned Beacon incident more than ever. There had always been this sort of numbness, the kicks of adrenaline that kept his body from freezing, something instinctual forcing him to think the situation over, to wage his options, forcing him to act. He acted with purpose, and didn’t have to get lost when he had a focus, something to do. It had been the main reason he had more or less drowned himself in work, after the loss of his daughter, as a way to cope.  
  
Now however, they had taken even that from him. More or less half a year had passed, and he was just now allowed, with some supervision, to start working again, or even carry a gun. The worst part was that he had to fucking comply. It had taken him so long, and all his wife’s work and proof left for him within STEM, to realise that the people trying to tell him it was all a lie probably worked for that damned organisation as well. There were like cockroaches; they seemed to be everywhere.  
  
Mobius.  
  
He knew little to nothing about that organisation, more or less nothing, but it seemed to have a lot to do with his wife’s disappearance. Hence, he had tried to look into it, while starting to lie and act obedient during his counselling with the assigned psychiatrist; that alone was probably what had allowed him back into work. It was the one thing that kept him going, aside from the drinking. The one thing that kept the nightmares away, or at least focused many of the nightmares on something different, on his goal. Myra had once told him that their daughter wasn’t dead, and he hadn’t listened… fuck, all those things that once seemed like conspiratorial theories started making so much more sense.  
  
No one that knew him would have imagined Sebastian Castellanos to be skittish, or afraid of his own shadow, yet, pitiful as it was, that was the sad fucking reality of what the man had been reduced to. He knew it, and there was no real fucking pretending. He was a mess. A real mess. A worse mess now than ever. At least, right after the death of his daughter, he had tried to keep things together for Myra’s sake, tried to be strong for her, they had tried for each other. However, with not even work to focus on until recently, there was not even a reason to pretend that he was fine. He wasn’t fine. Fine was as far as it could be from what he was. The things he had seen inside the head of that tragic creature by the name of Ruvik was all too much to bear for any normal person, even worse so when he had to endure it all on his own.  
  
Ruben Victoriano, or more correctly so, Ruvik, had been nothing of what he expected. Upon being forced into the mind of the scientist, and having his whole world turned upside down, Sebastian had found that the monster behind it all had neither been a monster, nor behind it all.

The sad fact was that there was a lonely child, traumatized beyond belief, that had continuously been betrayed by the world around him until it had driven him to the very end. As the annoying truth played out, it was incredibly difficult to pin any of the things that Ruvik had done on said man. Of course, Sebastian doubted than anyone would believe that, or be aware of it, aside from himself. After all, the burnt man himself had mentioned that only the detective had been unlucky enough to step straight into his past and memories, and that Ruvik had no control over that. After having dealt with creatures that would haunt his nightmares for a long time to come, having kept going simply on survival instinct, the detective had expected nothing more than that Ruvik would be the monster behind it all, that was really the only thing that had made sense.  
  
Instead, upon falling through the shards remaining of shattered minds, he had ended up on the doorstep to Ruvik’s past; he had ended up outside his family home. There were surprisingly few monstrosities there, and Ruvik had turned out not to be one. Alright, it had been pretty awkward, and he might have landed a few bullets straight at the man’s head, which the burn victim had uncannily deflected with this weird supernatural powers he had within the world of his own mind. After being forced up against a wall and strangled, he had found that the physical body of Ruvik wasn’t nearly as strong as the mind, meaning that getting out of the grip and forcing the man still had been surprisingly easy. That was when what already was a fucked up reality got even more fucked up, when it all turned out worse.  
  
It would have been so easy if Ruvik had been the source of all the evil, if he was the evil within that Hellish place. However, that was not the truth of it all.  
  
Ruvik was a lot of things, but psychopath, or even sociopath, was not on the list. After the man had let Sebastian roam freely within his home, without trying to kill him, and after various discussions, the detective being the only sane person with no real ill intent directed towards the burn victim, the enigma of a man suddenly became all so simple and the worst possible victim of circumstances that Sebastian had ever met, in his line of work.  
  
So, the little child that was Ruben Victoriano had no good father to speak of; family issues was more or less textbook for a person with Ruvik’s trauma. The child was creepy, the sort of kid that would dissect a dead bird just to see that was on the inside. It wasn’t the weirdest development for a lonely child that did not receive any proper love and caring, if one wanted to go into the psychology. Even worse so, when, at the age of ten, he had been in that accident where his grown sister saved his life, at the price of her own. The child that was left was barely anything of what Ruben had been. She had pushed him out of the second-floor window of that barn, meaning that the little child had been able to do nothing but lay there, a few bones broken and skin burnt off, listening to the dying screams of his sister, inside that fire.  
  
It hadn’t gotten better after that, apparently, the deformed child had been confided to the basement, and kept there in secret, as the father claimed that he had died in the incident, with his sister. There was no real telling for how long the child had been kept there, alone, studying, his whole world being nothing but a dark basement with only his past trauma to comfort him. Evidently, his mother had gone insane, and became sick from the incident of losing her children. Most of all, her son had called out to her so many times, while her husband kept assuring her that he was dead; all the child had known was that his mother had abandoned him, left him there to rot, just like his father had done to him. When he finally got out, he was at least late into his teens, and it was by stabbing his parents, who at that point were not much more than his captors. Had the crimes ended there, a Court would likely have ruled him a victim of circumstance, seeing all that had been done to the child.  
  
However, it did not end there. Ruben was a ruined man, a man that had no place in society, and was presumed dead. No one was more scarred and traumatized by his looks than himself, a body Sebastian knew had been both mentally and physically painful, for every day that passed. Luckily, or maybe unlucky for the man, Marcelo Jimenez, a doctor working hand in hand with Mobius, had noticed his talent and ideas. Ruvik was a protege, a genius, someone that would construct the whole idea of STEM all by himself, only for that doctor to take the credit and steal everything from him.

The doctor had killed Ruben, even if done by the hands of others, as he had extracted his brain and used it as the core for the machine; it was the same brain that Sebastian had ripped out of the machine, deciding that no one should end up in that Hell, ever again, even if it meant killing Ruvik.

The burnt man had been expendable for Mobius, and used from day one. The hatred he held for all those who had wronged him had been strong, and there was no real reason to question the man’s choice of defending himself against the rest, and killing those who tried to get into his mind. He was trapped, locked up in his own broken mind that was nothing like what he had wanted.  
  
Ruvik had once told Sebastian what he wanted to use STEM for. A good bonus was how it could have treated mental patients and been of help to society, but it was all just for a reason to fund it, in the very end, all Ruvik wanted was to escape the pain of the real world, and go live with the memories of his sister in his own mind. That was… nearly sweet, and rather understandable, if all of that which had been was the man’s only reference of the real world was a living Hell. After nearly half a year, Sebastian had started to believe once more, wanting to think that Ruvik had been telling him the truth about that; it seemed far too real to be a lie.  
  
Sadly, the world inside the scientist’s own mind was so plagued by his past and trauma that not even his sister was anything but nightmare fuel. A Hell worse than the living one. Worse so, the seizures and pain, the way he looked with all the burns, none of that had changed, even inside that world. Hence, it went from trying to get in there to trying to get out, desperately so.  
  
It was definitely a controversial question, and not the easiest ethical question, but for Ruvik to try to steal Leslie Withers’s body to get out was quite understandable. Anyone would have done the same, under the same circumstances.  
  
Even the deaths of fellow cops and similar were understandable, because Ruvik was seen as the villain in all this, and would be killed; he was merely trying to survive, as much as the rest of them. It had taken time, and been hard to accept, but Sebastian was more than convinced that the real enemy in all of this was that organisation Mobius. That of course, meant that even with the end of STEM, there was no guarantee anything was over, and that was even worse.

Worst of all was when they had been sent in. Obviously, he did not remember when he had entered. However, Ruvik could not have existed outside of STEM, and when thinking about it all, there had been a strange lack of everything and people, that day when they arrived at the crime scene of Beacon; they were already inside.  
  
That was the worst. Sebastian could not in any way place when he had been connected to that horrid machine. That made it so much harder for his brain to accept that he was out of it. There were so many questions still, making it almost a pity that he had stomped the one mind that likely had all the answers to pieces.  
  
He had just had a can of beer, nothing stronger than that, nothing more just yet, as his doorbell rang, startling the detective more than he’d ever want to admit to himself. Fuck. Who wanted something on an early Sunday morning?

Slowly, the mess of a man dragged himself up from the small, dark brown, leather sofa in the apartment. It was a place had moved to with Myra after losing their daughter and the house, a place where he was now alone, but could at least afford paying the rent for. It wasn’t dark in there, he could barely sleep in the dark, making him feel like a damned child, and all the lights were on, mostly all the time, making for some expensive bills, that he could still afford. It could have been more of a mess, really, at least the place didn’t stink, but that was because some friends had checked up on him yesterday and been very particular about cleaning up and taking the trash out, and forcing him to help… It had been pretty fucking annoying and he had been very grumpy through that entire ordeal.  
  
He probably needed a shower, but even that was hard without feeling like he was on guard about the monsters just outside the damn bathroom doors, or to just feel the hot water without imagining it drowning him, or suddenly turning red and thick. Willpower alone, the little he had left, forced him to do all those things, to be presentable enough for work. He would definitely shower later today, at least. Besides, he didn’t give a fuck if he was presentable to whoever was at the door, and wouldn’t allow himself to panic. It was rather easy actually, monsters never rang the doorbell.  
  
Sebastian was wearing a long sleeved black shirt, in soft fabric, and a pair of slackers, not caring much more than that. His hair was slightly out of order, but could have been worse, and he was definitely not properly shaved, but had at least had the decency to trim the growing beard a little to not look like that much of a mess, which he would see to doing later today; it was another thing on his to-do-list to pretend to be a functional human being.

What the man saw when he opened the door was probably somewhere very high on some mental list, that he was unaware existed until that very moment, of things that were the least likely to show up at his door.  
  
Leslie Withers.  
  
For a moment he felt panic rise in his chest, and drew a shaky breath, unable to speak. Meanwhile, the kid just crashed into his chest, being evidently so happy to see him. His mind wanted to tell him that he was back in STEM, he had only ever seen Leslie inside of the damned machine, after all. However, as per usual, his mind also forced a certain focus in the heat of the moment, and he had to think this over. Leslie was looking a lot more healthy, and wearing normal clothes, and well, Sebastian was out of the damned machine, he knew that he was out of the damned machine; he had to believe that he was out of the damned machine. It would be proven if he spoke, probably.  
  
“What the Hell-..” he uttered, at first, not quite sure what to do or say. Leslie Withers was a mental patient; even if he had someone survived the whole Beacon incident, he should be locked up in a facility somewhere, not wandering about. How had the kid found him?  
  
“Leslie… What are you doing here?” He started, and then some realization dawned upon him, his mind always quick to connect the dots; “who brought you here?”

Suspiciously, he glanced outside the door, and listened down the stairway, but it seemed empty, and he couldn’t hear a trace of anyone. Hence, he closed the door behind the albino and himself, locking it again, waiting for the young man to answer, hopefully just answering any of his questions, at all.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You mean to say that I should just accept and take care of you, after you fucking turned against me and tried to murder me, and turned into that giant freak of a monster, nearly tearing me to pieces, before I could kill that freak? You have no fucking idea how much that shit fucked my life up, and here you sit, thinking you have the right to comment on whether or not I choose to have a goddamn beer. What if I don’t feel like doing Mobius fucking bidding?”

**Ruvik:**

Ruvik was honestly surprised to feel Leslie’s happiness over seeing the mess of a detective, it seemed like the younger truly had longed for a familiar face, even to the point of recalling his name. Leslie had not been able to remember the name of any doctor he had previously so the fact that he recalled the rough male’s name so well was… well, Sebastian had clearly made an impact on the mental patient. He was very happy to be with the man again, it was a little hard to pinpoint the exact feelings but Ruvik felt like he was watching a puppy happily cuddle with its owner. At the given time, Ruvik hadn’t considered the possibility of part of it having to do with their personalities merging a little, and the patient now even sharing his own memories of the man.

Listening from Leslie’s ears had proven to be somewhat hard. Ruvik was able to watch without too much distortion of reality, unless the patient had been stuffed with pills, something they both hated quite a bit. Everything looked mostly the same except that faces were very hard for the boy to recall, but sound, it was somewhat like hearing from underwater, everything was a tad garbled and distorted. It took them both a while to register what Sebastian had said, and by then, the detective was busy trying to find their ride. Leslie waddled inside of the apartment, starting to look around in it.

It was a completely decent apartment, enough for two people and a little big for one person. The mental patient trotted around and looked at a few things, giving Ruvik enough view of the place to tell that, yes, Sebastian was a complete mess after having been stuck inside his head, even if he almost managed to keep the facade of a normal human being up. The scientist noticed the open beer and mentally sighed. Perfect, the detective was back to alcohol habits… Mh.

Leslie was fumbling with the lock on his little bag, finding the letter and handed it over towards Sebastian before Ruvik managed to stop him. It seemed like he would just have to take over before the duckling managed to make even more of a mess for the broken man. From what he could tell, Sebastian was not currently having his gun with him, or on himself, making it at least safer for the ex-scientist to present himself.

The nervous, almost twitching movements of the mental patient suddenly stopped. He was no longer curled together, no longer nervously wagging from side to side, the eyes no longer flickering around like on a frightened animal. The albino body seemed taller, as he stretched his back out, pulling his arm back while at the same time trying to remove the letter from within the man’s grasp. It was quite obvious that something had changed, he didn’t expect anything less of the detective then him understanding quickly but for safety, he took a few steps back, moving so that the living room table was between them. His movements were not scared, yet his eyes displayed cautiousness.

“...It’s been a long time. Nice to see you again...Seb.”

 

 **Sebastian:**  
Of-fucking-course, the half-wit didn’t fancy responding, and this once, didn’t seem to even care for repeating the words the detective asked him, which would have been much more like Leslie to do. This would likely be a headache, dealing with Leslie Withers always was, but then again, maybe he was slightly biased towards negativity, given the extreme circumstances they had met under.  
  
The albino walked past him and looked around in his apartment, and Sebastian actually let him, not much harm could come from that kid, he was pretty much harmless. It was quite interesting to know that the kid was alive, but not very reassuring that someone must have brought Leslie to his apartment, someone aware of their connection. The detective felt that he should go get his gun, seeing that he had gotten the licence of his back, after a lot of psychiatric evaluation. Even if he had a private licence as well as the work-related one, it had still been temporarily taken from him, given the stress he had undergone. The gun was currently in the bedroom.

Before he did, however, he followed Leslie into the living room to see what exactly he was doing. “Hey, I asked you questions, kid,” he repeated, and funny enough, it seemed that Leslie had understood some of it, because the young man did search through his bag to find a letter addressed Sebastian.  
  
What the Hell, well then, it was actually hard to imagine what was in that letter, at all. There were too many possibilities, and the best way to find out would be to open it. For a moment, it seemed that Leslie changed his mind, but Sebastian did not let him have the letter back.

The detective had barely opened the letter, even less started reading, when the mental patient in the room backed away, and all of a sudden, addressed him like a sensible person. Sebastian felt a chill run down his spine, and immediately turned to face the young man, that looked oh so different. His posture, his whole behaviour and aura was different, and most of all, there was an intelligent gaze through the eyes that was so alike the actual face of the man he realised that he was likely looking at.  
  
“...Ruvik? What the Hell…!” he let out, evidently surprised. Suddenly, he felt a lot more naked without his gun. Even so, it was somewhat alright; Leslie was likely completely harmless, and Ruvik was not that far higher on the scale, seeing that the man had been of use and help, aiding the detective’s escape from that place. Well, until the very end. In the end, the burnt man had betrayed him, and tried to kill him again, for reasons still unknown to Sebastian. In response, he had used his lantern in self defense to burn the other, and free himself, that in turn had led to him facing some huge grotesque monstrosity with Ruvik at the center of it all, before he got the Hell out of there. To be fair, he was pretty fucking pissed about that. He had been pissed and terrified enough to not think twice about splattering the remains of the man now ahead of him against the floor, thinking that he had killed him. It wasn’t even the only times that the burn victim had nearly killed him after their truce was broken, but it was the times that had left the biggest impression on the detective.  
  
However, it seemed that Ruvik had gotten his way. Did he just fake behave like Leslie? Wait, it was too early to draw conclusions. He’d just get his damned gun, and he should read the damned envelope too. “You stay fucking still right there and let me read this,  I warn you, I am not fucking happy.” His tone was clear and demanding, needing to know what the fuck was going on. “While at it, tell me who the fuck brought you here and what you want.”  
  
He gazed at Leslie-seemingly-actually-Ruvik, in the corner of his vision, as he opened the letter properly and started reading. He just needed a damned conclusion to what was going on.

 

**Ruvik:**

As suspected, it did not take very long for Sebastian to figure out who he was talking to. It also seemed like he had been correct in his guess that the man did not carry his gun right this very second.  All this pointed towards him likely being in the safe category, at least for the moment. Sebastian was not very likely to jump on and trying to strangle him, even if the possibility of a punch in the face seemed alarmingly high still… The table provided sufficient shelter from the man’s wrath, at least for the moment.

The following words that left the man’s mouth were almost humorous, enough so that the corners of the smaller male’s lips would twitch in a smile. It disappeared quickly, known only by himself as the other angrily started to read the letter. “You? Angry? I find that quite hard to believe; you who always act so calmly.”

He had found that he had somewhat missed the talk with the detective, back when they had stopped to actually speak to one another in the mansion of his memories. It was actually somewhat pleasant to tease him, was that the right word? It seemed so innocent… Mh. He would have to consider another description when he had more time. For the moment, the sofa behind him looked quite tempting, causing him to sit down on it. He sank down somewhat, finding that the leather was quite pleasant to sit it, much more so than the fancy, hard couches of his family home. He crossed his legs, leaning back and let the other male read the letter.

Said letter informed Sebastian Castellanos that he was thanked for taking care of the newly released mental patient, Leslie Withers. It told of the money that would be transferred every month to Sebastian’s account, informed him that he was legally bound to handle the former patient’s finances and that he was, of course, not allowed to use them for his own personal gain. The letter was more or less a summary of what was expected of him as the ‘caretaker’ of Leslie Withers, seeming to be referring to other papers and contracts that the detective had seemingly read and signed.

Ruvik watched as the man looked more and more confused and annoyed, for a little bit, he wondered if the detective was going to rip the paper apart out of anger. The scientist was now resting his head in his hand, elbow resting on the armrest as he was observing the man like he was looking at a testsubject.

“Before you ask, yes, most of that was most likely handled by Mobius, I am quite sure it was without your knowledge, but that’s not too important. I am equally unsure if they know I am alive but I believe they do and are keeping me as a sort of… backup plan, in case I am needed during their building of a new STEM. You are definitely under observation as well, which leads me to think that they find it a lot more cost efficient and easier to keep us both under the same roof. I am not likely to be a danger to anyone if I am watched by a detective, am I now.” That wasn’t really a question, more of a statement.

Ruvik turned his attention towards the open beer on the table. He reached out and grabbed it, shaking the can to see how much his host had consumed. About half, it seemed. “It’s hardly past lunch and you are already drinking? Poor Joseph would be heartbroken if he knew what became of you… Back to these old habits.” He placed the drink back down onto the table, returning to the relaxed position by the armrest.

 

 **Sebastian:**  
What the actual fuck.  
  
Now this was… no, he could not find the words, not even in his head. He would come back to that later. Instead, Sebastian Castellanos mentally cited the longest verse of creative curses he had thought of, in all of his life, best left unheard and forgotten.

He didn’t answer, when Ruvik saw fit to explain their circumstances, instead, he was thinking it over, drawing conclusions and deducting the best he could based on the information that he heard. Once more, it seemed that the scientist was the best informant he had, and the best at informing him all those things that people continuously withheld from the detective.  
  
The paperwork seemed legitimate, which made Ruvik’s words of Mobius having a hand in it all the more plausible. The detective had been right; they were still watching him. Of course, from the description, it seemed that the former scientist and Mobius associate had about as much of a say in this as Sebastian probably did.  
  
Think, think this through logically.

Mobius, as far as he understood, was an incredibly influential and powerful secret organisation of sort, one that evidently held a lot of influence nearly everywhere. It was evident from the way they could handle these paper, how they seemed to hide in plain sight, and how Kidman and Joseph had just disappeared off the records, in a swarm of lies to their whereabouts and circumstances, that absolutely no one wanted to question, at least no one that mattered; the people that mattered evidently even worked against Sebastian in the task of finding out the truth about them, leading to him not being so very open about his investigation anymore, but it had also resulted in him more or less getting nowhere, thus far.

It was very likely that if he complained about these arrangements, that it would work against him, just as it had to insist on the truth about the Beacon incident, and how it had only worked against him to not believe in the lies about his colleagues’ whereabouts. Fuck. He was stuck. They were still out there, still tracking him.  
  
He was pissed, to say the least, and it only got worse when Ruvik mentioned his drinking, and at the mentioning of Joseph, used against him in some half-hearted attempt to shame him from the drinking, he snapped.  
  
A fist slammed down at the table, making a surprisingly loud noise despite the sturdy wood of it. Sebastian had moved closer to the table, and Ruvik, in the blink of an eye, although, he still remained a step away. The beer can trembled slightly from the movement, but didn’t fall over.  
  
“Don’t you fucking mention his name. He’s dead because of that mission, and because of that sick world inside of your head, because of that Mobius organisation” he hissed, behind clenched teeth.  
  
“You mean to say that I should just accept and take care of you, after you fucking turned against me and tried to murder me, and turned into that giant freak of a monster, nearly tearing me to pieces, before I could kill that freak? You have no fucking idea how much that shit fucked my life up, and here you sit, thinking you have the right to comment on whether or not I choose to have a goddamn beer. What if I don’t feel like doing Mobius fucking bidding?”

It was a lot at once, and perhaps not the most well arranged order of thoughts. Fair to say, he was fucking fuming. There was a hint of desperation, and hurt, somewhere in there, mixed with the anger. He felt so fucking powerless, and had felt helpless and powerless ever since he got out of STEM, seeing how much it had ruined him. It hurt, it hurt so fucking much to be that messed up and scared. It hadn’t quite hurt to be betrayed by Ruvik like that, no, he had never truly trusted the man, but it had been a fucking pain in the ass, and the most horrifying experience of them all within that world.

 

**Ruvik:**

There was a loud slam just before him, something that made the albino male react a tad more than he would have liked. He could blame it on Leslie’s body, seeing as it reacted instinctively with pulling back, curling together into a ball to avoid any harm that might come his way. Ruvik had been able to access the memories of the kid, being able to see most of the things that he had been through during his time at Beacon Mental Hospital, the way he had been treated. Some memories were too messy, unclear and strange for him to understand, something that most likely came from Leslie himself being unable to comprehend what he had been through. Surely, it was no surprise that the albino did not like being touched, anything that seemed like it might cause him harm, or that seemed like it was about to come into physical contact with him.

Ruvik had clearly made Sebastian angry, that much was clear. It seemed like mentioning the apparently passed Joseph Oda had been quite the mistake. He… should have known that, seeing that the man had always been touchy about his detective partner, however, it did somewhat surprise him that the japanese man had not made it out of STEM.

Sick world inside his head…? Ruvik felt his gaze grow darker as the other male spoke like that, hints of anger and annoyance showing, as Sebastian continued to speak down on him. He had to admit that he was not very comfortable with the anger that was directed towards him, the detective had tried to kill him as well, in the past and he did not doubt for a second that the man was fully capable of killing him if he so wanted to. Yet, there was something terribly… attractive with him when he was angry, the way he seemed to almost fume with emotions, making his eyes burn with such intensity.

“I don’t recall turning on you, we were both aware that the truce wouldn’t last forever. I needed Leslie to get out, of course I intended to get to him no matter where you were at that point.” The man misunderstood what the detective was speaking about, thinking that he was referring to the time by the STEM core where he had grabbed the kid. Actually, now when he did consider what Sebastian actually said, it didn’t completely make sense to him.  
  
“...What do you mean with giant freak of a monster? I can’t turn into a monster, that’s ridiculous, if I could do that, I wouldn’t have had much problem with finding anyone in there, now would I?” He started to calm down somewhat, being able to stop the body from covering in the corner.

“I regret informing you that you don’t have much of a choice but to do their bidding, just like the rest of the world. They have signed proof that you have agreed to take care of Leslie Withers, claiming that you did not will get you a one way ticket into the mental hospital together with us. Even if you like it or not, they have caught you in their net and you cannot get out of it by yelling at me.” He looked straight into his eyes as he was speaking. “Or, you can play straight into their hands by killing me and let them send you off to prison for murder.” By now, he had managed to return to the position he started in, legs crossed as well as arms. “You are not stupid, you know all this. Now stop throwing a tantrum, you are scaring Leslie.”

 

 **Sebastian:**  
It was Ruvik, alright. It was pretty fucking clear exactly who would speak this way, even with a different face and a different voice. It was a wonder that Sebastian was still listening to his words, but then again, it probably had to do with not yet being drunk. Like this, even when angry and loud, he got a lot of information and confirmation out of the man, which was, in the long run, his actual goal, even if it was a little hard to keep sight of that goal.

The former scientist was right; Sebastian knew mostly all of the things the other was telling him, or well, a majority of it. Still, it was hard to calm down. You don’t just fucking go about forgiving nearly being slaughtered by a creature the size of a city block.    
  
Leslie.  
  
So…. Leslie was actually in there somewhere…? Had that person earlier actually been Leslie? Sebastian had, kind of since the start, accepted that the poor kid would perish in Ruvik’s struggle to get out of that Hell. He hadn’t really wanted to accept it, but it the case of survival of the fittest, and getting out, the detective would do anything to get himself and his own people out of there. The truth of the world in STEM was that Sebastian, and probably Joseph too, along with most of the officers drawn in there had just been the collateral for the experiment and goal, and had been thrown into all that, completely blind to what was going on, left like lambs for the slaughter. Sebastian had refused to accept that, and the whole bargain with Ruvik had been because he wanted to find out the truth, and get out of there. Included in the truth was that the burnt man had been tricked and forced in there, and given that he was the one who built the damned machine the detective had found himself pulled into, earning his favor had been more than useful; fucking finally had he not been left in the dark, but rather starting to understand what was going on. Hell, he wouldn’t have known a thing of Mobius either, had it not been for Ruvik. Under those extreme circumstances, even Sebastian had to admit that he had been willing to sacrifice the mental patient to get them all out, of that was what it took, even if it would come to plague his conscience. He had reacted negatively at the time of finding out why Leslie had been needed, sure, but he had come to his senses rather quickly about it.  
  
Now, of course, that was not quite what happened, in the end. Somehow it seemed like Leslie had, if Ruvik was honest about that, gotten out with them, and of course, Joseph hadn’t made it out. Fucking Hell.  
  
Then, of course, there was that monster.  
  
Sebastian was still pissed about that goddamn monster.  
  
Fine, he supposed he didn’t have to fucking shout; he knew, somewhere inside, that Ruvik likely had as little power over the situation as he did; there was no evidence pointing any other direction. Still, Sebastian was pissed.  
  
He drew a sharp, deep breath and took a step closer, slamming the hand down, a little less violently, on the armrest of the couch. It wasn’t that intentional to be imposing and threatening, it was just part of his more forceful nature, and an useful trait when playing the bad cop, or well, something that sort of just happened when he was angry.

“Funny that you say that,” he hissed, glaring down at the male he had ended up cornering, then drew a another sharp breath to maintain his tone of voice; “then how about you fucking explain why I was ambushed by a monster the size of a fucking building complex, inside of Beacon; that horrifying thing definitely had your body at the center of it, and definitely originated from where you had been fucking standing. I can tell you that it’s not the greatest deal of joy to be impaled and struck up against sharp metal poles, while fighting for my goddamn life against a monster the size of a fucking city block.” Yeah, he was definitely mad about that. “It was like all the fucking terrors inside your mind had combined into one.”

 

  
  
**Ruvik:**

Sebastian came closer, making it very clear that the man was superior in anything from size to reflexes, compared to the weak body, whose eyes was looking up at the detective. Ruvik kept on repeating to himself, and his host, that there was nothing Sebastian could do to harm them, but Leslie’s instincts to duck and cover truly did take over his own mind’s more logical responses. In short, when the detective came closer and slammed his hand down again, the pale male pulled back, retreating into the couch where he wanted to sink back, the legs and arms moving up in some sort of defensive position. Damned… it was starting to get increasingly hard to understand Sebastian… Leslie was reacting a little too much… This had happened a few times back at the Mental Hospital as well, were the body fell into patterns, sort of like a self defense, the trained response of a tamed animal. Say sit and it sits.

Another problem that Ruvik was wrestling with was the fact that Sebastian happened to be very attractive to him. Very much so… Back inside STEM, inside his head, he had seen an opportunity, perhaps his only chance to any sort of human contact and he had asked it of the detective. To know what it was like to experience another body against his own, to know the taste of a kiss and the feeling of being connected. Those were all very romanticized ways to place it, how ridiculous of him to want it to be something more than him wanting to know what sex was like. It was nothing more than a body’s natural will to reproduce and human need to be close to someone else. Sebastian was the only thing in ages that even remotely resembled something that he could ask for sex, in exchange for information. The detective had said yes, technically, he might have sort of forced himself to it, but Seb hadn’t been unwilling. That was how their truce came to be in the first place, if they were trying to kill each other during it, the sex wouldn’t have been all that good.

Either way, the problem itself was that, when Sebastian Castellanos was this close, it set of all kinds of bodily reactions, mostly around the crotch area and in his stomach. Having the man lean over him like that made him quite excited, through the fear and nervousness that Leslie was experiencing, making for quite the curious mix of emotions.

Focus… what was he saying…? Monster… Turning into a monster…?

“When exactly did that happen?” He stared at the latino while he was told what happened after Leslie was, quote, ‘fucking liquidized.’ It seemed that after he had grabbed the boy, a lot of things had happened to the man in front of him. “I have no memory of this. After he surrendered to me, giving me access to his body, I woke up in the real world once again. Yes, inside this body. I have no recollection of turning into anything, especially not something ‘the size of a fucking city block.”

Leslie’s body squirmed, curling together even more as it seemed to him like Sebastian was coming closer again. The world was getting somewhat unclear, it was hard to see… “S...seb… back… off.” That sounded a lot more like an order than one would expect from a man who was covering at the end of the couch.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If he just put aside all the fucked circumstances, all the reasons not to, the influence of Mobius and everything else, he still had to consider whether he could actually take care of Leslie Withers.

**Sebastian:**   
Getting a straight answer had a tendency to calm Sebastian Castellanos more than just anything else. Answers provided directions to how he was supposed to act, to what he could possibly do about a situation. Even when he was aggressive and angry, as long as he was sober he was still out to get information. Judging by Ruvik’s words, whatever that thing was in there had not been him, apparently. He… had a hard time finding reason to why the man should lie about such a thing, especially judging by his reactions to this. Sebastian was evidently scaring at least one of the two inside the body in front of him. Fucking fine. It was worth investigating.    
  
Sebastian did back away a little, standing back up, giving the albino some space, for whatever mind in there that needed the space. He wasn’t exactly fuming anymore, but he sure as Hell wasn’t happy, however, even he realised that he’d get nowhere being angry. Normally, he’d get what he wanted while getting the emotional outlet, but it was clearly not working as of the moment.    
  
“So you mean to say that you were out of that world already? What the Hell was that, some weird fucking defense mechanism from your brain after you escaped?” He had given the now-young-man some time to breathe. Speaking of which, hadn’t Ruvik lost quite a lot of years of age like this, beside the fact that the body he now had obtained wasn’t deformed. Now wasn’t that something.    
  
“Why should I believe you, you tried to strangle me and kill me when I entered Beacon,” he retorted, glaring down at the kid, but he was definitely losing a lot of the aggressive manner. 

“...”

“... So, Leslie is actually in there, too?”

 

**Ruvik:**

Leslie very much appreciated the fact that the man backed off, the body was a lot easier to control when the angry man wasn’t so close to his face. The sounds started to make more sense, the vision cleared. It didn’t go as fast as a heartbeat, it took longer than that, everything very slowly coming into place again. It became a lot easier for Ruvik to think, as the body wasn’t in a stage of panic. 

It seemed as if Sebastian had been attacked by something, something very big, as soon as he had gotten out. Judging by the other’s description, he supposed that it had looked somewhat like him. Alongside with every terror that was inside his mind… Mh. Something about Ruvik being the center of it as well.

“It sounds like the Amalgam.” He commented, returning to spreading himself out in the sofa, looking quite matter-of-factly again. “No, I did not make it, please don’t look at me like that. From what I can tell, it seems to be something created out of my, and everyone else’s, desire to get out of He- I mean… there. There was a smaller one, I believe you battled it in a garage; it killed the cockroach. If there was a much bigger one, perhaps I should refer to the first one as Alpha Amalgam…” The last was not directed towards Sebastian, more to himself. “Minds and creatures seem to mix together somewhat inside STEM when it’s unstable, I suppose there is no real surprise that the desires could mix. Perhaps I left a part of me inside there, like you said, some sort of after effect to me leaving, creating a monster out of all that I was in there. My mind was most likely keeping all of that under control and without my core, it exploded into… A bigger Amalgam.” He had long since stopped talking to Sebastian, lost in his own theories. It was interesting to think about, even if he was quite sure that he would never really know. Perhaps that was for the best.

Sebastian had said something, causing the man to lift his head. It clearly took him a few seconds to realize what he had just said. “...Excuse me?” He leaned his head to the side, blinking before his mind slowed down enough to figure out what had been asked. “Leslie Withers? Yes, he is still here. I was completely expecting to overwrite his personality and mind with my own, or at least switch places with him, trapping him inside STEM, instead of me. Yet, to my surprise, he seems to have opened up to me, accepting me completely to share his brain and body. He has mostly been kept away from the surface, seeing as our progress would completely come to a halt if I allowed him to move as he wished. He somehow understands this, even if he doesn’t understand things like a normal hum-... I am going into far more details than you requested, am I not?” He stopped himself, as he realized that he was talking a lot more than needed. 

“To summarize: yes, he is here. Would you like to speak to him?” That sounded like he was speaking about handing the phone over to another person that stood next to him, he didn’t really care just how insane that sounded, they had both been through enough madness to think that a schizophrenic person was nothing to raise an eyebrow over. 

 

 

**Sebastian:**   
Fuck. It wasn’t supposed to fucking be like this. 

He was out of STEM, it was supposed to be over. He wasn’t supposed to sit and listen to the ghostly mind of a dead scientist, that had taken over a mental patient’s body, about human minds connecting and creating monstrosities into reality, as if it was normal, acceptable and possible, yet, that was exactly what he found himself doing. Like a flame struggling for oxygen, slowly flickering into smoke, his anger calmed, listening to Ruvik being… very much himself. 

The scientist had always been awkward, which was a simple way to put it. He clearly wasn’t used to socializing and normal discussions in a greater extent, and the monologues were things the detective had gotten quite used to, already inside STEM. 

Right, so Leslie was presumably there, and there was no real reason not to believe Ruvik on that point, and he supposed that he would just have to find out.    
  
“No, I wasn’t really planning on talking to him, I.. just needed to make sure,” he muttered out and grabbed the can on the table, following the movement up by walking around the table and flopping down onto the other end of the couch, or well, sat down, evidently just giving up. There was at least space for another person between him and the albino dual personality.    
  
He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his legs for a bit, just staring straight ahead of him, evidently deep in thought. After a few moments, he brought the beer up to his lips and downed the rest of it, putting the empty can back on the table and then fell backwards against the backrest, letting out a deep sigh. 

Fuck, what was he supposed to do now? Just live with the fact that he was a rat caught in a trap, and that he had to live with being the ‘legal guardian’ of the two people sharing a body, next to him. Ugh. Maybe… just maybe Ruvik could be of some use with tracking down Mobius. 

Also, it honestly felt… so good to see those two, to talk to someone that wasn’t telling him that he had gone batshit crazy, someone that confirmed how everything in Beacon had really happened. Sebastian was still angry, but somewhere he had to accept that he was actually in the situation he found himself in, that it wasn’t over. When he calmed down from the shock and anger, and Ruvik’s logic started getting to him more, he felt… incredibly relieved to see the both of them, with the fact that Leslie lived as a bit of a bonus. 

The detective wasn’t really the sentimental type anymore, or so he told himself, but even he realised that Leslie was that sort of preciously naive and innocent being that shouldn’t have to come to any harm, someone that deserves good things happening to him, after all that he had been through. Had Sebastian known the whole truth of how Leslie had been treated during the years, he would likely have felt for the kid even more than he already did, out of normal human decency and empathy. Still, it was good to not be alone in this, to know that Sebastian hadn’t lost his mind completely. 

“.....” He let out a sigh, “... Fine, prove to me that he is still there, but I still have things to ask of you, so don’t go disappearing for too long,” he said at last, not quite looking at the two, rather, he kept his eyes closed and leaned back against the couch, trying to just breathe and take in all of the shit he had just been exposed to. 

  
  


**Ruvik:**   
“Well then, do whatever you wish.” Ruvik was not too happy about the fact that he was sharing his mind with someone, that much was obvious to any human being, one was supposed to be alone in their head at least; he had many time toyed with the idea of just locking the kid up somewhere deep inside of them, never letting him see the light of day again, or affect him in any way, but he had found that he just… couldn’t do such a thing. 

Leslie had, after all, accepted him, welcomed him, saved him even. He wasn’t able to actually erase the kid from his own mind, not when the miserable one had been so happy to have company. Ruben Victoriano would never have believe it if someone had called him sentimental, but even he couldn’t just discard the albino, not at this point. Not to mention that the kid was a perfect hostage and cover up for who he really was. 

He watched as Sebastian sat down next to him, the pale eyes following every movement that the man made, observing and making mental notes here and there about a certain behavior or manner of which the man furrowed his eyebrows. He was clearly deep in thought, most likely trying to come up with some way to get himself out of this situation. Ruvik was not expecting him to all of a sudden down the beer he had been holding, somehow managing to drink it all in one gulp. That was… actually quite impressive… How long had he been training to be able to do that? 

The burn victim had never been able to drink alcohol, before the fire, he had been far too young and afterwards, well, that would have been an extremely bad idea, considering his many seizures, and how the alcohol would affect everything, down to the very healing process of his wounds. In truth, he also treasured his mind way too much to be comfortable with letting himself go to such an extent that he didn’t have control anymore. He had suffered a lot, but he couldn’t find a single logical reason as to why drinking would do anything less than harm his already bad state. 

Since Sebastian was busy thinking, Ruvik decided that he was quite curious about a few things. Now when he was able to feel things, he really did want to take the time and explore a little more. In the Hospital, he had been reduced to quite a few things that he was able to touch, much less so since he was supposed to be Leslie, and the kid already knew what things felt like. He never truly had the chance to experiment with the ability to feel. First object of curiosity… This leather sofa. He moved around a little in it, feeling how he sank down differently in different positions. For a few seconds, he amused himself with trying to find the most comfortable position before moving on to phase two, touch. His hands moved to the sofa, poking and prodding it, letting his fingers move over the leather. It was surprisingly soft for looking somewhat dense. It was not as soft as his clothes but certainly not uncomfortable.

Next on the list: the table before him. He leaned forward and let his fingers touch it. It was a smooth surface that wasn’t too cold to touch. It felt sturdy and was most likely newly cleaned, as there was little to no dust or remains of food, or liquor, on it. Ruvik was just about to turn his attention towards Sebastian, quite curious as to how his beard and hair would feel… Actually, the texture of his shirt, skin and pants also seemed worthy of investigation. He had only ever felt the little stubble that had been on the man’s face properly, once, and the memory of that feeling had almost faded at this point; besides, the beard was different. Before he had the chance to approach him at all, the man asked about the kid, effectively halting the exploration for now. 

“Just now you had no interest in him,” he pointed out with an eyebrow ever so slightly raised. Oh well, he would get back to feeling that beard soon enough… and perhaps more. His heart skipped a beat, annoyingly enough.

Leslie blinked, finding that Sebastian was now sitting next to him. He gave the man a little smile before slowly coming over to sit next to him, leaning just a little against the male’s arm. The hands were nervously fidgeting with the air in front of him as his eyes darted around in the room. 

“...Home? Is this… going to… be home now? Is… Leslie home now?” The boy asked, looking up at the man. 

  
  


**Sebastian:**

All so quickly it became apparent that Leslie was probably really there. Of course, it was a little suspicious that he was talking with such complete sentences, but then again, Sebastian had heard him do that once before, in STEM, right about when Kidman tried to shoot the kid. Perhaps it really was Leslie Withers that was sitting next to him.    
  
If he just put aside all the fucked circumstances, all the reasons not to, the influence of Mobius and everything else, he still had to consider whether he could actually take care of Leslie. Well, that was becoming a lot easier with Ruvik in a sort of package deal, supposedly. Still… maybe, maybe not. It hurt, to even consider, he didn’t like the idea of having to look out for anyone but himself; it was probably the ghosts of his past speaking, but he tried to pay no heed to it. Even worse, he was a mess, trying to keep himself together, how was he to deal with those two as well. At least, he had that much insight of his own mental instability, and it was more than an irritation, more like some sort of painful and aggravating shame.   
  
The kid looked up at him, and he sort of seemed… hopeful. Fuck. It was admittedly difficult to deny Leslie things. He seemed to have that effect on just anyone; it was hard not to care a little bit.    
  
Alright, let’s be real. Ruvik was probably not that bad of a person to have around, especially if he was not trying to kill him; Sebastian still wanted some goddamn explaining done to why the man had tried to strangle him again, right there in the corridor of Beacon, as well as all the other times it seemed the man had tried to bring about his demise. However, he had no choice right now, and once more he was in a position where the former scientist probably knew more than he did, about everything, really.    
  
Sebastian sighed, reaching out to touch Leslie’s hair softly, slowly, like approaching a dog, making sure to not surprise him all too much. If the albino would actually let him touch the hair, he would continue carefully. There was at least some gentleness in his eyes, even when he was still rather distressed about all this. Fuck. Fine.    
  
“It sure seems like that, kiddo, for now this is your home,” he voiced, at last, trying, trying real hard, to force some sort of gentler expression.    
  
This was going to be a headache.    
  
“Are you okay? Is Ruvik good with you? Are you okay like this?” He just wanted to ask Leslie, not really expecting a good answer. 

  
  


**Ruvik:**

Much like an abused dog, the kid seemed to be quite confused about the hand that moved towards him, however, he didn’t pull away, even if he did tense up. As he felt the big, warm hand in his hair, the muscles relaxed, shoulders slowly lowering down until he was probably as relaxed as Leslie could be. Sebastian was a nice person, his hands were nice, and he hadn’t tried to hurt him or give him something strange. Sebastian had even helped and worried for him, Leslie thought that was awfully nice of the man, and now he was getting to stay around him. So very nice…! He slowly smiled, leaning into the gentle ruffling. 

After a few seconds of being patted, the mental patient moved closer, clumsily lazing his arms around the man’s arm and leaned against it. How… warm… and nice… It made him almost want to fall asleep in the other man's arms, where things didn’t hurt and the noise around them wasn’t very loud… Just a nice place, where he was safe… The albino was more or less pressing his nose into the man’s shoulder at this point, more or less having forgotten what he had asked. Yet, at the man’s reply, he lift his head, trying very hard to understand what the man was saying. 

“...Home. Home with… Sebastian…” He returned to his position on top of the man’s shoulder, closing his eyes again. It seemed that the detective wasn’t done talking yet, causing the smaller male to look up again. Were those… questions? So many at once… A hint of distress moved over the kid’s face as he almost desperately tried to figure out what the male had just said. Okay…. Okay… Was he okay? What was a Roo-viiik? He didn’t know but he figured that he was pretty okay.    
  
“...O-okay. Okay.” He nodded a little before noticing the empty can on the table. He sat up and carefully moved over to grab it, ending up more or less poking it. It was cold and a little funny looking, but very familiar. He couldn’t remember where he had seen it before… Ah, it probably wasn’t very important, other than Sebastian seemingly not wanting him to touch it. He understood that and pulled back, more or less making himself into a little ball against the detective’s warm chest. Mhm… He liked it very much around this man… “Seb…. Okay.” 

  
  


**Sebastian:**   
That was probably the best reply that the mess of a man could expect from someone like Leslie. The worst part with someone like the mental patient was the fact that there was no actual telling of whether he really understood the questions or not, but it was all Sebastian had to go on, for this moment. If anything, it truly meant that Leslie Withers seemed to have made it out of the mess alright, or well, made it out of the first Hell only to fall into the next.    
  
Perhaps he was being cynical. So far, handling the patient hadn’t been that awfully hard, not that a few minutes was really anything to go on; he just… was so far from any sensible or stable state, and he was fucking terrified that he would snap. Hence, when the albino decided that cuddling up to him like a love starved puppy was a bright idea, his first reaction was to make a disapproving half-silent grunt, and to not move, looking more than a little uncomfortable, not that it was something the patient seemed to notice, happily cuddling the rugged man.    
  
After a few moments of hesitation, he sighed, and started petting the boy’s head again, softly, resulting in putting his arm around Leslie, seeing it was the most relaxing position.    
  
He had no idea why he was smiling, honestly no, but it wasn’t a very good or happy smile, simply a small strained one. Well, if he was forced having people around, maybe he’d be forced to make at least a little bit of an effort again; effort was a lot easier to make for someone else than oneself, after all.    


 

  
  
**Ruvik:**   
Now wasn’t this a rather lovely position. Ruvik wasn’t quite sure what he felt about this. On one hand, it was lovely to feel something like this… One could call it embrace; he got to feel a few of the things he was curious about when it came to experiencing what things felt like and more than anything, he was very close to the man he had some manner of feelings for. On the other hand, it was Leslie Withers that was curled up in his lap and the abrupt change might cause the rough man to simply push him away. Also, much more pressing; he was currently in Sebastian Castellanos’ arms. That alone came with such a torrent of emotions and thoughts that he feared trying to focus on them would all but sweep him away. 

Fine. Very well then. He was going to end up close to the man sooner or later, no matter what happened. Hopefully, the detective cared enough about the body of the patient that he would not send him crashing into the floor and table. Ruvik had experienced enough seizures in his life to know that colliding with the floor would always be unpleasant, even more so now when he was able to feel the pain it would cause to the fragile skin of his. Not to mention, it was basic knowledge that falling hurt, once it came to a halt. 

Was he stalling? Perhaps he was. He didn’t have to change back right now, it was not a bad thing to let Leslie stretch his newfound freedom. Okay. He had to admit to himself that he was stalling. There were so many things that could go wrong with resuming control. Sebastian wouldn’t hurt him. They had been this close before. They had even been closer. Since when did he turn into such a coward? 

Ruvik reached out and pulled back Leslie’s consciousness. He went without any objections and without a sound, and as easily as that, the scientist was back in Sebastian’s arms. Oh, his scent was even stronger now that it had ever been before, unfortunately, the alcohol on his breath was all the more evident like this. Without meaning to, he let out a little sigh of disappointment. 

The man wanted nothing more than to reach out and touch the other, but he found that he had a few more pressing issues to speak about, before he allowed himself to indulge in poking about. He found himself taking a deep breath before speaking. “I don’t think there is any secret to me not being the most capable when it comes to conversations, I wouldn’t think myself to be a good speaker, or to find the words that might fit the best into… Fine. Even I can tell that you want me to get to the point when you give me that look. What I am trying to say is… How have you been, Seb? You are clearly not fine, it seems my mind took a great toll on you, so you do not need to yell at me about it, as I already know. Still I… Find myself trying to… Mh. I do believe you get where I am going with this. I will let you answer now.” 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ruvik leaned back in the sofa again, letting out a subtle sigh, as a very small smile spread over his lips. “How cruel of you, Sebastian. To hurt me with the thing that truly hurts me the most. Don’t misunderstand me, I understand why you would in that situation, and I hold no grudge towards you.” He found the courage to once more face the man, the ghost of the small smile still lingering on his lips. “I am glad I didn’t kill you back then. That would have been far too cruel.” Towards both of us.

**Sebastian:**

He had almost calmed down, entirely, Hell, he had almost relaxed even. The mental patient just had that air about him, that made him seem like the most harmless thing in the universe, and for a bit, Sebastian could probably even appreciate the fact that the boy was a proof that he wasn’t going insane, and that the Beacon incident, and all which followed, had, in fact, happened. 

Of, fucking, course, it didn’t last very long. This time, the detective  had no idea when they switched, because of the position and calmness, but the voice was unmistakably Ruvik, he wouldn’t miss it anywhere, even when the voice itself was different; it was about the way the man spoke. 

His initial, well trained, reaction, was to freeze up completely, in what would, in any other situation, be a way to quickly analyze the surroundings and situation. Only, well, it wasn’t needed, because Ruvik, like this, wasn’t a real threat. It was just hard to not be on fucking edge, maybe it had a little to do with the condition he was in, too. Ruvik hadn’t been wrong either, with his immediate desire to push the borderline-boy off him, in response to the scientist taking over again, that was stopped by the realisation of how it could affect Leslie. Fucking Hell. Think shit over.   
  
Instead, he pushed Leslie-turned-Ruvik, off himself, to the side, for the albino to more or less fall back into his original position in the couch. It was gentle enough, he just created a little distance. 

In fact, Sebastian had no idea how to handle Ruvik like this, especially given the odd relationship they had shared within the nightmare inside the man’s head. It did get to him, a little bit, but not like it did to the scientist; a fuck or two with someone you didn’t care that much about wasn’t the end of the world; it was the circumstances that had forced it to be something more, it had turned it into such a great deal of betrayal. He would like to think that he knew Ruvik well enough to tell that he was nervous, as said man was speaking, trying his best to prove that he was in control of the situation, much like that one time he had been jealous of Sebastian’s supposed wife. That, actually, nearly brought a smile to the detective’s lips, for just a second, but didn’t quite manage all the way. The fact that the rugged man was tired made it harder to be on defense, but he wasn’t about to just forgive the fucker for all that he did. Finally, fucking finally, he had Ruvik cornered, and could hopefully force some answers out of the man.    
  
After spending so long wanting to punch the man’s teeth out the next time he would see Ruvik, it was surprising to find that he’d rather force answers out of him, upon meeting again.    
  
He groaned and leaned back, giving the same deadpan stare he had shown when the scientist couldn’t get to the point of what he was saying.    
  
“We’re not done talking, and we’re not good enough terms for that nonsense,” he pointed out, not very aggressively, though.    
  
“You still owe me a goddamn explanation to what happened, after that doctor died. I was fucking looking for you, you know, and I want to know why you nearly fucking murdered me by strangulation, not to mention all the other things I had to fight off when you appeared and just fucking left.” He had to draw a deep breath to not start sounding aggressive again. “I fucking get it, so that big monstrosity wasn’t you; that does not excuse the rest of the fucking mess.”    


 

  
  
**Ruvik:**   
Thankfully enough, Sebastian did have the common sense not to push them away violently or harshly; that prediction had been correct. However, Ruvik was not ready for the emotional response from himself, as he was removed from the more than a little comfortable position. Illogically enough, he felt a sting of pain in his chest, and a feeling that was strangely hot behind his eyes. Of course, he had been counting on being removed in some way or another from the man, he just… was not ready for it to hurt so much. 

The albino pulled back and moved towards the other end of the couch, getting himself comfortable over there, but leaving his legs and feet up on the sofa so that he was still facing the detective. When he was done finding a good sitting position, he looked up to find Sebastian giving him a rather empty look. He blinked and leaned his head to the side, only to realize that the surprise from the familiarity in those eyes had caused Leslie’s body to respond without his input. The man coughed slightly and stretched himself back up again, trying to pretend that the reaction hadn’t happened at all. 

“Well then, I see your point, yet you have to understand something. This brain,” he reached up to lightly touch his own head before continuing, “does not work exactly like my own used to. I don’t have to list the reasons as to why, but I have found that some memories are… Hazy and very hard to recall. When I do formulate it in my head, I remember more, but I have had some…” He stopped to sigh. “Memory losses. Knowing you, you might accuse me of this being awfully convenient for the situation and you would be right to think so. Yet, if you would keep that in mind as I try to recount for the actions you ask about, I would be grateful.” His voice broke somewhat at the end of the sentence. “Would you… Get me some water? This body isn’t used to this much conversation.” 

It took two glasses of water before he was refreshed enough to continue the talk. In all honesty, he would have liked something to eat too, but bargaining for food at this time seemed just a tad overambitious. 

“What happened after the Alfa Amalgam attacked, right?” He glanced at the man’s face before turning his head so that he was looking at the room, the glass still in his hands, as he enjoyed the coolness from it. “...I lost you. I tried to find you again and… something got in the way. I believe it went somewhat like such.” There was little to no chance that Sebastian would accept something like that; he had to remember more. “Something… I saw, it made me not want to approach you. It was… It was… You. You turned.” He looked up at the man as he realized what had happened, as he recalled all the emotions he had felt when he had seen the man change before his eyes. Leslie’s body was not as hard to show emotions in and the face reflected all the strained, barely held back feelings that he tried to wrestle back. “You became a Haunted. I…” He felt at a loss for words and ended up looking down at his glass, the bangs falling down over his face to assist in his battle to keep his emotions under control. 

“It was because of me. They changed when my mind corrupted them. I believed I had… Lost you. When I saw you again, I was relieved beyond measure, but I could not risk you to the infection of my mind. At that point, I deduced it to be safer if I stayed far away from you. I continued to strive to find Leslie and get him to the core. I had every intention, and I did disconnect you from STEM. I, foolishly enough, halted my own escape to do so.” The later parts were easy to recall compared to the fuzzy memories from inside of STEM. 

  
  


**Sebastian:**   
Alright, the short version was that he hadn’t expected hearing any of that from Ruvik. The detectives mind had already put himself into some sort of mindset of not exactly wanting to forgive the man for having turned on him. Anyone that had already decided to blame someone for something wouldn’t exactly like hearing another version, or accepting it.    
  
Yet, there was something that felt like a glass of water breaking and shattering. It was nearly shockingly painful to see someone, whose entire past he knew and had nearly experienced, who had been too physically scarred to even be able to show emotions on such a ruined face, and who had been damaged enough to nearly forgot how to act human, now suddenly, look like he was on the brink of crying; Ruvik suddenly looking like a normal person breaking apart from the pain of a painful memory, worse yet, for Sebastian’s sake, was hard to take in, to say the least. It felt like the emotions were responses he had always known were there, due to plain damn logic, a simple fact that the burn victim would have that much suffering hidden inside of him, but it never really showed before, now suddenly plain and visible, and fuck, that was tragic. Broken or not, the detective still had some humanity in him, and couldn’t help sympathy surfacing through the cracks.    
  
Damnit, that was the last thing he needed.    
  
There were still so many damn things that weren’t resolved. Although, what Ruvik was saying did make sense, to some degree. Part of Sebastian’s mind wanted to think that it was an elaborate lie, the scientist could, after all, say just anything and it would be all the same to the detective, as long as it made somewhat sense. He didn’t want to believe in Ruvik, but… it did make sense, and part of him, somewhere, deep inside, really damned wanted it to be true; still, there were too many things that needed to be answered. He wouldn’t like to admit that he had been mistaken, if he had been, but then again, people always made mistakes or blamed others incorrectly at some point in their lives, it was better to just realise that they could be wrong, than to hold onto it.    
  
He wanted to ask about a lot of what had happened, but one particular thing stood out more than the most.    
  
“You disconnected me from the damned machine? When I woke up, Kidman was fiddling with the monitor next to me, you know;” Sebastian didn’t mean for it to sound as much as an accusation as it did. He didn’t know how those things worked, but it had looked like Kidman had been the one telling him to lay low until they disappeared, and perhaps the one who disconnected him.    
  
Okay, fine, that was not what he wanted to ask, really. 

“I feel like I should kind of fucking point out that every time you showed up, things went to Hell around me. What of that weird fucking clone that tried to murder me?”   
  
Not that either.    
  
“... Why the Hell did you attack me at Beacon? You nearly strangled me to death.” 

  
  


**Ruvik:**   
It seemed like Sebastian found it hard to believe in his words. He was not surprised about that reaction, it was hard to demand anything of someone as stubborn as the detective, and yet it was a little heavy to have his emotions just waved away like that. Neither of them was good when it came to feelings, and to express them, that much had been rather evident early on. Still, he hadn’t complained up to that point, he wasn’t about to complain now. 

No, the only way to get anywhere with that man was to reason with him. A hard task, he was sure. 

This was, perhaps, the first time Ruben Victoriano decided to try and reason with anyone, to actually make an effort for another person that wasn’t Laura. He had probably been somewhat unreasonable back with her too, but he had been a child, and could hardly be blamed for his stubborn nature back then. He stopped to make a mental note about how ridiculous it was that he of all people was stuck explaining himself, when he had never bothered before, or bothered to listen. Sebastian was important enough for him to seek redemption through words, that realisation alone was worthy of notice. 

Ruvik raised an eyebrow at the comment about Kidman. “Sebastian. I am trying to be honest with you, something I did not think I would be with anyone but Laura. I did disconnect you from the machine, but not everyone wake up right away. From your short description there, it sounded like she did something else, or perhaps she just stood there when you came to. I cannot tell you what happened when I was not present, can I?” Crossing one’s arm and legs was a sign of uncertainty and discomfort, it was common knowledge when speaking about body language. Instead of that, he raised his eyebrow and remained in the same position, maintaining eye contact to show that he was not scared of facing the other. 

He was not prepared for the second question, something that he did not want to talk about. At least that memory felt crystal clear, unlike many others. He avoided the man’s eyes, it was hard to look at him when speaking about this. “...I believe I told you that some of the manifestations aren’t because of me. That, as you so kindly put it ‘weird fucking clone,’ was not created by me. My hypothesis is that it was adapted from…” He ended up swallowing before he could finish the sentence. “Your view of me, after you heard all that Jimenez had to say.”

He would have continued to avoid eye contact but the next question was so utterly confusing to him that he ended up looking at Sebastian with a look that fit Leslie Withers a lot more than it did Ruvik. After a long stare, all he could think to say was: “Excuse me?” 

  
  


**Sebastian:**   
This was getting very emotional in a strange and unfamiliar way; Sebastian couldn’t help but to let out a deep frustrated sigh, and he pushed his lower palms against his forehead, putting some pressure on it, while closing his eyes; all in all, it was one very obviously drained sort of reaction, showing just the toll this was all taking on the man.    
  
Ruvik really did give him something to think about, even if Sebastian wanted to focus on his last question, it was hard to not end up thinking a lot about what the scientist just said. Fine, he had no evidence against the idea of Ruvik disconnecting him from the machine, and even if he could by no means know the extent of Kidman’s education, given he didn’t know her true identity, it seemed… too easy, when thinking about it; the idea that she could just disconnect him, when pretty much only Ruvik himself, and very few scientists, knew how to operate STEM whatsoever, should be left with some benefit of doubt.    
  
The explanation regarding Ruvik’s supposed ‘clone’ was even more of a thing to spur a whole series of thoughts. Had Sebastian really changed his opinion of Ruvik that drastically? He really did not believe that, it wasn’t until much later, with all the shit he had to go through, that he even spent time doubting the agendas of Ruvik, and even then, the man was far from a monster; the detective had thought of him in a less human way, for a while, but it was simply because he was nearly killed over and over, only in that drastic situation. He made a mental note that he probably should tell that to Ruvik, maybe present it as evidence against the words Ruvik said, just to see if the other was lying, even if it sure didn't seem that way; the man was a lot easier to read with the face of Leslie Withers.    
  
Then there was the last reaction, of shock, bewilderment and surprise, what the fuck was that supposed to mean? Sebastian really, really, didn’t like the discomfort that creeped down his spine, when it seemed like Ruvik didn’t recognize what he was saying, whatsoever. Was that actually Ruvik back then? Was it a memory perhaps, since it had been the exact thing he had seen on that security camera, and could have been soemthing like that time he had been chased by ghosts of Ruvik’s past, and found that barn. He let out a disapproving grunt, looking straight into the eyes of the other, wanting to see whatever reaction the man had to his words.    
  
“You strangled me, in the corridors of Beacon, when I returned there. I saw you kill those cops the first time I got there, on surveillance camera footage, and then all of a sudden, I was standing in the middle of it.” Embarrassingly enough, he had shot Ruvik too, not hurt him, of course, but he remembered the feeling of his arms moving on their own, as if it was a memory. It gave him a bad feeling, a bad taste in his mouth, what if the man sitting next to him on the couch had been in as little control of that situation, then things would change a lot. Well, perhaps there was some damn hope right there, a weight that would finally fucking disappear. It wasn’t the easiest to admit, but somehow, Ruvik had managed to get under his skin, and it would make a damned difference, yes.    


 

  
  
**Ruvik:**   
The reaction was as following: the man looked very lost, once more. His pale eyebrows moved towards each other and up, the blue eyes reflected honest confusion while the red lips parted to add to the overall lost look. It took the man longer than he wanted to regain control over the albino’s face and even as he did, there were hints of the same emotion left. 

Ruvik broke eye contact first, looking down at the table very intensely. He was thinking, and for someone who knew him like Seb did, it wasn’t hard to tell that he was thinking. 

It didn’t make any sense; he had not attacked Sebastian back at Beacon. He didn’t recall even seeing him there, how could the thing he was speaking off had hap-... wait. Exactly what was it that he had said. The man raised his head and looked at the detetive once more, his eyes scanning the detective’s face. 

“...There was someone there, behind the three guards, but it was just another policeman. That man shot towards me, and then he…” The memory of that fire was still very fresh in his mind. The man that he had strangled had no lantern though, despite him recalling the sound of shattering glass. When he thought about it, that did not make very much sense, for the policeman to set him on fire, there was, well, fire needed. “That was you?” He looked back at the man for confirmation. “Then there is but one conclusion, STEM was showing us different things. The man I saw was not you, yet he shoot towards me and then I was,” still beyond hard to say, the words alone made his skin tingle with pain, “set on fire. Again. The man I saw would have had no means of doing something like that towards me.”

  
Ruvik leaned back in the sofa again, letting out a subtle sigh, as a very small smile spread over his lips.  “How cruel of you, Sebastian. To hurt me with the thing that truly hurts me the most. Don’t misunderstand me, I understand why you would in that situation, and I hold no grudge towards you.” He found the courage to once more face the man, the ghost of the small smile still lingering on his lips. “I am glad I didn’t kill you back then. That would have been far too cruel.”  _ Towards both of us. _

 

**Sebastian:**   
Fuck.    
  
Hearing that explanation put the detective in quite a situation, but also, it felt… like a relief.   
  
Maybe it was a good damn thing that Sebastian, despite his job and life experiences,  was a little thick-headed when it came to feelings directed towards him, otherwise, he would probably have had a rather hard time to deal with the fact that Ruvik more or less confirmed that he found the outcome of being burnt again preferable to a scenario where he had killed the man; perhaps said man just needed time. 

Still, the explanation made sense, Sebastian had seen strange things like that happen inside STEM, or at least, Joseph had confirmed that they had seen different things, at times. Well, if one added all this damned information up, then fine, alright, perhaps Ruvik was, same as pretty much always, making sense. 

Goddamnit.    
  
Fine.    
  
He leaned forward again, obviously in enough discomfort to be restless, while thinking. Fine, it was a tragic in a funny way, perhaps just a tad fucking tragically humorous.    
  
If the scientist was in fact being honest with him, then it seemed the both of them had been fucked over pretty badly. Sebastian didn’t actually realise that he was smiling subtly, as well. He didn’t quite think that he felt bad about hurting Ruvik like that, in that scenario, it was after all his way of escape, and it had, apparently, led to them both surviving.    
  
“Fucking Hell…”    
  
He pressed his hands against his face once more, head hanging, half given up. Wasn’t it pretty fucking tragic that his body more or less screamed at him that he needed a drink to cope with all these sudden revelations. Somehow, he had a feeling that there would be even more issues with the, now young, man beside him, if he decided to have another drink.    
  
Maybe he could find another distraction. Honestly, he’d rather not think about the fact that Ruvik would have saved his life, if he was the one to disconnect him and get him out of there, in the end, and he’d rather not think about the fact that he burned said man in another attempt to escape. Focusing on his current situation seemed like one escape, for the moment.    
  
He could focus on the fact that, while the period they had known each other was rather short, he had learnt a great deal about Ruvik; stressful situation probably did that to people and relations. Even when the previously burnt man was distinctly recognizable, despite being in a different body altogether, said different made for a whole array of expressiveness. It was rather cute, to see the man, being perhaps the way he should have been, making the expressions he would have if half his face hadn’t been burnt off.    
  
Sebastian looked up again, from behind his hands, gazing over at his new ‘ward.’ Perhaps it really was up to him to break the atmosphere a little, bring things back to how they used to be. He did realise that he wanted it, and he had all the time in the world to figure out what the Hell was going on and whether Ruvik had been honest with him, and they were supposed to be living together, from now on. He reached out and once more ruffled the hair of the other, the way he had when Leslie had been in charge, the smile in his lips still weak and bothered, but at least, it felt like something.    
  
“Yeah, I did tell you that I am a stubborn fucker, no wonder you failed to kill me.”    
  
He sighed, drawing his hand back, again and sitting back up. “No, I’m not fine, not one fucking bit fine, but I’m managing;” it really was okay to admit it, when it was just Ruvik, and no one else; it felt pretty fucking good. “What about you, enjoying life on the outside?” It was definitely awkward to simply change to such a lighthearted topic, in comparison to all the weight their words had previously carried, but Sebastian wanted to get away from all that, for just a bit, before the weight crushed him.   


 

  
  
**Ruvik:**   
The former scientist ended up staring into the table as he left the other man alone to think. Sebastian did seem to want to think on his own without being bothered and so, it was much better to simply leave him be. 

He had a few things that he could consider in the silence that now rested over the room. For example… There was… Mh. How strange, for the moment, it was somewhat troublesome to pick a topic to consider. Oh, how ridiculous, was he finding himself too nervous to be able to formulate his thoughts; it certainly seemed that way. The now much younger man sighed, and moved his hand up, placing it over his forehead and lightly rubbed his fingers over his right eyebrow. 

All he found himself doing was waiting for the man next to him to come to a conclusion. It felt like an eternity until something came into contact with his head. They were not at all accustomed to being touched, least of all being touched gently, thus, the feeling made the man jump and turn to look at the other. It took him a little longer to realize what had happened and when he did, a small, disbelieving smile passed over his lips. 

“Such a horrible character trait of yours… Surviving.” Ruvik commented as he watched Sebastian pull back and relax, even if it was just a little. 

“Duly noted. That you are not fine, that is. I don’t have any actual degrees on the subject but I am more than a little knowledgeable about the human brain. It’s not something one will be able to overcome in just half a year, but I will of course do my best as to not let it destroy you. Without you, I would have no other place to turn to, as you are well aware of.” 

Ruvik made himself a little more comfortable in the sofa, before he turned to face the man once more. He was trying to not sound too demanding and found the task to be a little harder than he had anticipated. There was a risk that he was simply overthinking it but he did not want to seem pushy or overbearing towards the only security he had in the world. “I would not mind discussing how I have been with you, Seb, so do not mistake this for an excuse to run from the conversation. However, the clock is getting close to half past three and we are used to eating at around one. If it is not too much to ask, could we eat before we continue to speak?” The man was not aware of it but as he did ask for something to eat, he ended up giving the man next to him a surprisingly puppy like expression. Something Ruvik would personally blame on Leslie Withers. 

__   
  


**Sebastian:**

Ugh, Sebastian supposed that this was how it would end up from now on; Ruvik always had a knack for telling the obvious, in great scientific detail. Yes, he rather thought about the scientist’s awkward quirks than the fact that the man just outright promised to help him recover.   
  
Well, honestly, it could be a whole lot fucking worse than that.    
  
This Mobius organisation was obviously not leaving him the fuck alone, and he remembered, still, having sworn to bring the fuckers down, in one way or another. It was hard to find that conviction still, after all that had happened and the time which had passed, but somewhere inside him, he knew what he had to do. Ruvik would prove the best aid he could have, really, once more, against this fucking mystery organisation; it was really the only one he could be honest with, at this point, and for that it didn’t matter what had happened inside STEM, that was all over with now.    
  
Okay well, fuck, maybe it did matter. Maybe it did matter if Ruvik, in fact, wasn’t a monster and hadn’t, in fact, tried to murder him. Right of the moment, the scientist rather made it sound like the idea of Sebastian getting hurt would have deeply wounded him, which was, oddly sweet. 

__   
He shrugged and sighed, “yeah, fine, we could get some lunch, but I don’t have that much shit at home, so how about just, take out? I could order Thai,” followed the words. Once more, the detective found that there was a weak smile on his lips, because silly as it was, the notion of thai food meant something. While stuck inside STEM, forced to push onward but with no real reason or goal beside getting out, they had been having time to talk for hours, and during those times, Ruvik had asked a lot about the outside world as it looked today. The man had never really interacted with society, after all, and therefore knew surprisingly little of just everyday matters. Sebastian couldn’t quite recall how they ended up on the topic of takeout food and what people tended to eat, in general. Sebastian was more of a thai food guy, than the type to order pizza, but Ruvik hadn’t known what that was, and it had all just ended with the detective stating that they could have some once they got out of that place; after having seen how badly the world had treated the scientist, even if Sebastian thought he’d just arrest the man, not knowing he was technically dead, he could have brought him some of that; it had seemed like a reasonable promise.  __   
  
The detective forced himself up and saw to ordering food, after checking quickly with Ruvik if there was anything that Leslie Withers couldn’t eat, or if there was something he was supposed to know about his ‘ward.’    
  
Afterwards, it was just a matter of waiting, and well, Sebastian moved back to sit in the couch, staring down the person, or well, people, he would be living with, from thereon.    
  
Fine, before he forgets.    
  
“You should probably get yourself a new theory about that thing that looked like you, I have no fucking recollection of seeing you as a monster, I thought we had that established.” Straightforward and quick, really, it wasn’t more than that, and afterwards, he somewhat nonchalantly averted his eyes. __  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \-------- Facts & Headcanons --------
> 
> Auto-play: We would like to remind any people who are interested in this form of freely written roleplay that auto-play isn't normally acceptable. The only reason we get to write reactions and actions for the other in this story, is because all we have to do is turn to the other and ask in real life, if said actions will make sense. If you in any way take inspiraiton from all this, in your own roleplaying, just know that it's very rude and usually against a roleplay's rules ( if rules are established ) to decide and write for other players' characters.
> 
> The Evil Intentions: Just in case anyone who reads this story missed it, it's a sequel to us recapping and changing the story of the first game, meaning that a lot of things in this story refers back to it.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With Ruvik, maybe, just maybe, he’d be able to make it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter will likely mark the end of this intermission story, but we are likely to post a bonus chapter or two, seeing the life of these two asshats under normal circumstances can be very endearing. 
> 
> We will continue writing with the second game, as was the plan from the start.

**Ruvik:**   
It took him longer than he wanted to be able to recall what in the world Thai was supposed to be. He knew that Thailand was the name of a country, but when it came down to it, it was hard to recall what exactly Thai was supposed to mean in this context. He would assume it to be food, but other than that, he could not place it. 

It took Sebastian leaving and coming back for him to recall that they had been speaking about that very kind of food when they were still trapped inside STEM. It seemed like the man took pride in being able to fulfill that promise, something that made the scientist feel just a tad excited about the prospect of trying out that food. That, mostly, because Sebastian had been putting effort into keeping a promise; people never did such things for Ruvik.

When the man came back, the pale one stood up from the couch and began to walk away from the seat. He was, however, stopped by the words of the other man. Ruvik found himself blinking at the other, his eyes just a tad widen with surprise, before he managed to find his mental footing once more. He lift his hand and placed his hand over his cheek, rubbing it lightly. The gesture had become something he tended to do, just to check that this was still reality, that he was still not trapped in a conveniently pleasant version of STEM. 

That information immediately created a new hypothesis in his head. If the man’s words were true, then the simplest solution to the conundrum was that the faceless monster had been reflective of how he viewed himself after having had his secrets exposed in that manner. To think that he had accused Sebastian of creating it when he was the one responsible... He would rather not dwell on that realization. 

“...While we are waiting for the lunch to arrive, I will have a look around in the hou-, pardon, apartment.” If he just turned away from him, it felt a little easier. “Or you could give me a tour. I am sure to learn to find my way around sooner or later.” 

  
  


**Sebastian:**

“Do whatever, it’s not a big place” Sebastian commented in response, letting out another sigh, while deciding to just let Ruvik and Leslie move around; there wasn’t exactly anything he had to hide in the apartment, not that he could think of.    
  
It even hit him that he wasn’t scared of Ruvik finding the gun, which was rather bizarre; any sensible man shouldn’t put trust into someone given the current circumstances, when there were so many things that could go wrong. Well, perhaps he wasn’t that sensible, not anymore, and Hell, he wanted to put the scientist to test; he really wasn’t up for being betrayed again, or tossed around like he had inside STEM. If he would be betrayed, he’d much rather find out immediately than having to wait, and possibly risk to get invested again.    
  
Still, he was restless, and didn’t like having something or someone make noises inside his apartment when he couldn’t see them, or confirm it was, in actuality, them. Hence, he more or less started following Ruvik around.    
  
A few things became evident rather quickly, one of those things was the fact that every single light in the house seemed to be turned on, or at the very least, every room was lit up by one or several lights, effectively making everything brightly lit, and without that many shadows. It left pretty much nothing to the imagination, as it was, and it was pretty damned preferable that way; even the rooms that had doors closed, such as the bathroom and bedroom, were brightly lit, as well.    
  
The apartment had a combined kitchen and living room, with half a wall and a longer counter separating the kitchen, a little to the side. Other than that, there was a hallway, with a door to a medium sized bathroom with a larger shower in it, and a door to a bedroom for two, well inside the bedroom there was another door to a closet, even that one lit up with its lamp.    
  
For a detective, a few things were rather evident, one of the first ones would of course be that there used to be two people living there. What made it the most evident was the fact that clothes in colors that would likely be a little odd on Sebastian, and certainly wasn’t his size, were around, pieces and items that didn’t seem to belong to him, but they were tucked away where they had been stored from the beginning.    
  
Myra had just left, assumably packing that one big suitcase they usually had during vacations, because it was gone with quite a few of her things. Still, seeing that he had, for the longest time, awaited her return, the detective had just left her things where they were, and with time, they simply started blending in with the background. The living room had what looked like an expensive wooden cabinet, a little old fashioned, and a little large for an apartment like this, with books, glass decorations and most of all photos, family photos. There were photos of his daughter, and ex wife, and family photos of them all together, as well as the two sets of wedding photos that he and Myra had decided upon taking, back then. One was fairly traditional, while the other was a comedic shoot where both of them held firearms, making a bit of a Bond stereotyped picture. Still, these frames and pictures where stuffed, a little crammed together, on the top shelf of the cabinet, making them a little difficult to spot all that spontaneously, while they were still visible.    
  
All in all, things seemed rather in order. Sebastian hadn’t exactly spent too much time on keeping things, but at the same time, he hadn’t removed or moved anything, not even the cupboard in the cabinet that his ex wife had stuffed with drawings, toys and items that used to belong to their daughter. That cupboard was, of course, firmly closed, he hadn’t touched it at all.

  
  


**Ruvik:**   
A few things became rather evident rather quickly, the first one, of course, being the turned on lights that were everywhere. No matter where he went and no matter what door he opened, everything was visible due to the light beaming inside each room. Outside, the seasons were changing, fall turning into winter, with the days turning darker. It was not dark enough yet to warrant this kind of obsession to chase it away. It wasn’t hard to tell why the man was paranoid enough to do something like turning on all the lights, and it did wake some resemblance of guilt in the albino man. 

The second thing he noticed was the lost presence of another person. There were items and alike that surely didn’t belong to Sebastian, in the closet, he found shoes that the man couldn’t possibly fit and likely wouldn’t wear, as well as a few shirts and sweaters that wouldn’t fit over the detective’s broad shoulders. 

Lastly, he discovered the photos. Despite knowing that the marriage had been long ago, and that the wife had left him, he found himself feeling jealous of the woman in the pictures. He crossed his arms over his chest as he looked them over, failing to see the humor in the one with the guns drawn. 

Speaking of guns, he glanced over at the man who was stalking him about as if he expected him to break something. Sebastian wasn’t carrying a gun, he was quite certain that the man would have pulled it at him at this point if he had. That woke the question about his weapon, did he have permission to carry one anymore? He assumed that he did, since such a long time had passed and the man was back at work. He couldn’t be certain, but it seemed likely that Seb could just be keeping it hidden, or risk shooting a shadow out of fear and paranoia. 

He glanced behind himself, at the bigger bed that he assumed he was going to share with the man. It seemed pleasant enough, one side of the bed was clearly a lot more used than the other. Ruvik briefly wondered if part of the detective was hoping that his wife would return some day, thus keeping her things around without moving any of them. Perhaps it might be seen as preposterous that he would sleep on her side of the bed? Then, he looked at the rough mess that was Sebastian Castellanos and realized he was considering unnecessary things. 

“It is a lot smaller than I am used to, yet abundantly bigger than our small cell at the mental hospital.” He gave the man a small smile before walking past him and returning to the sofa where he sat down. 

With so many new scents and things to look at, he found that he was getting tired rather quickly, even more so when he was hungry as well. The albino man laid his upper body down on the armrest, placing his arms under his head as he curled together in a little ball. There were faint traces of Sebastian’s scent on the leather, it was quite the pleasant thing, even if he didn’t appreciate the smoke. “Would you be so kind to tell me when the food has arrived? I am quite exhausted…” With that, he shut his eyes, almost falling asleep as soon as the darkness embraced him. 

It didn’t feel like he had slept very long at all until he was woken up again by the sound of the bell. He sat up, slowly letting the world come back into focus as Sebastian talked to someone outside the door. The food that was placed before him on the table was served in white boxes, he curiously observed them as the other man went to get the silverware. After lightly poking it and discovering a much softer, weaker material than he expected, he touched it and found it warm. This lead to the conclusion that this box probably intended to keep the food warm. He pulled one from the pile, moving it around a little to see if it was leak proof. It was seemingly good enough to keep most of the food in place during shorter travels, as well as keeping it warm. 

As the detective returned, the scientist was met with a gruffed remark that he was supposed to eat it and not play with it. Ruvik sighed and held out his hand for the silverware, not bothering to inform the man that he wasn’t playing. 

As he opened the box, it was taken from him and replaced with the box that was apparently his, as Sebastian informed him that the one he had was his. The albino didn’t mind too much and instead took his own box, opening this one too to look inside. It seemed to consist of a brown sauce that had a lot of pieces in it. He poked around and found chicken, paprika, corn as well as a few unidentifiable pieces of… vegetables. After glancing at Sebastian to see how he did it, he found that he was supposed to place the rice from it’s separate box together with the food in the bigger white box. Thus he did so with the spoon and brought it up to his mouth. 

The taste was… unusual. It wasn’t something he was familiar with and had a clear aftertaste of spices that filled the mouth and made his tongue feel kind of strange. He moved to get some more rice in his mouth to even out the taste, and it worked rather well. The next bite had a lot more rice and a lot less sauce on it, that made the spices a lot easier to handle. He continued to eat just rice and sauce for a little, until he got curious about the vegetables and the chicken. He picked them out and added some rice to even out the stronger taste and ate it. Everything about the pieces were crude, they seemed to just have been chopped up and thrown into the mix without too much care for the ingredients. Overall, it wasn’t bad. Just not familiar enough for him to be able to judge it with anything other than it being a little spicier than needed. 

  
  


**Sebastian:**   
After the little tour, or well, after having Ruvik snoop around in his home, and then falling asleep, Sebastian was once more alone with his thoughts, only to find that perhaps he would have preferred for the albino to stay awake.   
  
The fact that the change was so obvious so very quickly, even to the detective, was upsetting enough for him to want to step out of the living room, but even then found that he was stopped by the aspect of being alone, when he could be in Ruvik’s company. Fucking Hell. Okay, it was rather fucking simple, even if he wouldn’t have wanted to think of it this way.    
  
Ruvik had, back in STEM, been his single source of comfort and safety. The world around him had been a decaying hellscape, and the likelihood of Sebastian’s survival had been close to zero; standing by the side of the man had, for a while, comforted and calmed the detective, and rapidly increased his chances to survive. Perhaps it was a survival instinct, or a behaviour that had now been buried far deep into his very spine, making it hard to not feel the same way. He had been in such a desperately maddening situation, as that sickening world had been, that an obvious proved source of safety had meant the world to him. It felt as if his body wanted to tell him that he was safer around the man, which was absolutely ridiculous, or he wanted it to be ridiculous, wanted to mock it, but it made an awful damned lot of sense, and fucking Hell-..   
  
It didn’t stop the man from being upset with Ruvik, or upset with all of what had happened, but those feelings, having been buried deep inside of him, remained as strong as his trauma, and he hated how quickly it made part of him want to welcome the man into his home and life again.    
  
Okay fuck, he had to be reasonable as well; it really was for the better, still. If he was still under supervision by some freaky evil corporation, and none of the shit had ended, and he had nowhere else to turn, then having Ruvik as an ally should be welcomed, very much so. It should be that simple, so why the Hell was this all so confusing still. Maybe he was just torn; maybe part of him wanted it all to have been a bad dream, and part of him wanted to have proof that it wasn’t a dream. He had no way of telling, and it was frustrating as Hell.    
  
He definitely did not make a skittish and paranoid movement in response to the doorbell ringing, not at all; well, Ruvik was asleep and wouldn’t have seen it, anyway. It was as simple as before, monsters never rang the doorbell, and it wasn’t very hard to open the door, getting the food.    
  
By then, it seemed that his new ward had come to again, and it wasn’t very hard to tell that it was still the scientist that steered the wheel.    
  
Sebastian remained relatively silent until they had eaten, and he had put the leftovers away. There was already some leftovers from take out food stashed in the fridge, but eh, they would manage for another day or so. It was a lot harder to make efforts, for such as cooking, as well, than it had been previous to all that had happened.    
  
“So how was the food? Anything like you imagined?” A for effort, he supposed; he was at the very least trying, somewhat. All in all, the detective had moved to looking weary and tired, rather than upset and angry, and seemed a whole lot calmer. He was standing in the open space between the kitchen and the living room, glancing over at his companion.    
  
“I should probably shower, it won’t be that long,” he announced to follow. It felt odd, having to tell anyone what he was up to, but he supposed he could at the very least do that instead of giving Ruvik any silent treatments.    
  
He really should shower, as well, unpleasant as the experience was of being alone in a cramped space that was so often used in fiction, as a place where horrifying things could happen.    
  


 

  
**Ruvik:**   
He managed to eat a little less than half the food, it really had been a lot of it for such a small box, and the man was now left feeling a little stuffed. He had not eaten more than the body could handle and so, he was left with a rather comfortable level of stuffed-ness. “It was certainly not bad per say, yet the tastes were all new. I believe I have to think a little more before I can state if I liked it or not. However, I did appreciate the treat.” 

As he had been looking at the man when he first spoke up, he was still looking at the man when Sebastian stated that he needed to shower. He felt a wave of excitement wash over him, one that made him somewhat baffled. To have that a strong reaction to the other man saying that he needed to… get undressed and step into the shower… where he would be covered in water that would run over his muscles, get caught a little in the hair and create droplets… The muscles of the man’s arm moving under the skin as he lift a hand to brush the wet locks away from his face, spitting some water away from his lips afterwards… 

He came back with a snap when he realized that Seb had started to move. He was not about to allow himself to lose this chance. Sure, more was likely to appear but he did not seem to have the patience to wait for it, not when he finally could have it, possibly. Ruvik stood up, without truly formulating a response in his head before he approached the man. 

Sebastian gave him a look that was clearly between confused and suspicious. Ruvik, in return, raised an eyebrow towards him. “Is something the matter? I believed we were moving to showering?” He leaned his head somewhat to the side, placing his hands on his hips in a manner that seemed somewhere in between trying to assert himself and trying to be casual. “It is nothing I haven’t seen earlier, not to mention that I too, need a shower. I have no earlier experience with your shower, and I don’t know what is what. Besides… You clearly do not enjoy being alone. I am sure my accompaniment in a small, cramped place, would be more than welcome, won’t you agree?” 

  
  


**Sebastian:**

Maybe, in a different scenario and time, it would have been pretty damn obvious that the man would want to join him in the shower, Sebastian should, technically, have seen that one coming. In this scenario, however, he hadn’t actually thought of it, and a myriad of reasons could come to explain it.. The first, most obvious, ones were of course his worn down and tired state, and how it was difficult to focus on just anything beside the stress of reliving his past, and perhaps a little bit that this wasn’t over, probably; he was still being observed.    
  
To add to that, Sebastian rarely realised it when people in his surroundings had any interest in him, unless they made their intent clear, which the ex burn victim was doing very much, right of that moment.    
  
Ruvik had, however, never really stated that he had feelings for the detective, not even in the past. In Sebastian’s head, it could have been anyone, really, who just took a damned moment to stop and listen to the man, and given Ruvik’s past, there was nothing strange about him desiring closeness; the detective had just happened to be at the right place in the right time, to gain a valuable ally. There hadn’t been any feelings between them, not that he was aware of, back in STEM. Everything had just escalated due to the situation, or so the man kept on repeating to himself.   
  
So what now? There were a good damn amount of reasons to why he should refuse Ruvik. This wasn’t inside of that nightmare world, nothing was on stake the same way as before, and he never had been very much into the scientist in the first place, it was simply… something very valuable that had come to take shape due to all the stress he had been through, the fact that they had met, and learnt far more about one another than one should be comfortable with. Ruvik was just… the only one left who could have a shred of understanding for what he had been through. Fuck.    
  
“... Fine.”    
  
In all honesty, he hadn’t even given the fact that the scientist might desire closeness and intimacy a thought, not yet, but it seemed damned obvious when one gave it a thought. The broken mess of a man really couldn’t be bothered with considering what to do about such a thing, too much, as of right then.    
  
He headed into the bathroom, that all in all was a smaller one, or rather, it felt smaller than it was, because the shower was large, and taking up pretty much half the bathroom, with a shower curtain separating it from the rest of the little bathroom. However, the curtain wasn’t separating anything as of now, Sebastian rather risked getting the toilet, shelves and mirror wet, before closing the damned thing; water dried up, it wasn’t a problem. 

He began undressing, not really having an ounce of shame when it came to Ruvik, because the man was right; there was nothing he hadn’t let the other see before. Strangely, it felt a little more private to think that this was, in fact, real, and not just something they were experiencing inside their own heads.    
  
He had lost shape; even if his silhouette was pretty much the same, he had eaten far worse, barely left his apartment, and been drinking far more than he should, for about half a year; no human being would stay in shape beside all that. Of course, he didn’t really care, there were far fucking worse things to think about.    
  
Speaking of bodies, wasn’t there some fucking moral somewhere that should prevent Ruvik from doing whatever he wanted in a body he shared with a kid. Sebastian was about to turn around and question the scientist about the matter, but froze mid-motion, looking at the man in the enclosed area with him, not the kid, the man. Now that Leslie Withers wasn’t malnourished, or at his worsts, didn’t look like an albino ghost or act like a lost duckling, it was evident that he was, first of all, much taller than he seemed, and secondly, a fully grown man. He was evidently far younger than Sebastian, but inside STEM, with all which had happened, he had never really had time to stop and think about it.    
  
“... How old are you exactly? Ugh, I mean how old is Leslie?” He knew that Ruvik was older than himself, technically, and he had some sort of awareness that Leslie had been an adult all along, it was just very easy to forget if one didn’t actively think of it.    
  
It was… a start. It wasn’t like the situation needed to be particular intimate, and if it became that, he probably should question Ruvik’s behaviour, and Leslie’s wishes.   
  


 

  
**Ruvik:**   
He was surprised to feel his heart race a little with excitement as he was allowed to join the man into the shower. It truly was a small bathroom, even the ones at the mental hospital were bigger, at least if one counted the space that was actually the bathroom and not part of the shower. As the man in front of him started to undress, he had to pull himself a little back as to not be in the way when he removed his shirt. 

Sebastian’s body had changed since he had seen him inside STEM, it wasn’t much more than an observation. Ruvik had lived all his life trying to stay in as perfect of a shape as his body would allow him to, to minimize the strain on, well, the whole body. He never had the luxury of letting himself go too much or forget food, as the neglect could easily lead to his death. The scientist had no real complains about the way the man looked, yet he noted down that he needed to change a few feeding habits here or else his own body would suffer. He was not about to allow what he had worked for to be ruined by malnourishment or neglect, the object in question of course being Leslie Wither’s body. 

Ruvik had only just begun to undress as Sebastian spoke to him, before answering, he pulled the shirt over his head as to not speak through a mouthful of fabric. When he had pulled it off, he noticed how the other was still frozen half movement, looking somewhat bewildered.

“I should be around forty at this point, since you accidentally asked, and Leslie recently turned twentysix.” He made a somewhat displeased expression as he stated that, placing the shirt he had been wearing into the sink, as he realized that the man was not about to close the shower curtains. Perhaps it would not get wet if it laid there, however weak that perhaps might be. “I know because they decided to hold a… birthday party…” The words were uncomfortable on his tongue, something he really didn’t appreciate to recall. “They gave him some ice-cream and candy to celebrate, as well as some sort of stuffed train toy, since he sometimes speaks of trains. I have the horrendous thing among my belongings if you do not believe me.” 

Ruvik continued to undress as they spoke, soon having all his clothes removed. Leslie Withers’ body looked a lot better than it had half a year ago, it was even more noticeable like this, when there was meat on his body in the right places. He was still pale as death, but more outstanding was the lack of body hair, other than a few strands above his crotch and the hair in his armpits, he was almost hairless. 

He placed his socks together with the rest of the clothes and simply stepped past the other man into the shower, moving his arms around his body to keep some warmth as he waited for the other to finish undressing. “You haven’t shown interest in any of our ages before, what are you worried about?” It made the most sense to think that the man was asking because he was either insecure of thinking of something in particular. Seeing as Ruvik had and would like to have intercourse with the man again, it would be a bother for him if the man made up something about it being wrong for them to do anything since it was Leslie Withers’ body and not ‘his own.’ Ruvik knew for a fact that the younger man would not mind it, he only minded painful and scary things, there was nothing scary or painful about Sebastian, meaning that it was alright to have sex with the man. He didn’t speak any of that out loud, in case the detective was not planning on having intercourse with him, it just seemed ever so awkward to bring up in the current situation. 

  
  


**Sebastian:** ****  
It felt a little weirder than he assumed it would to be in the presence of the other, naked, seeing it really was just Ruvik, or at least he kept telling himself that. There was still a bit of a cognitive dissonance between the man he knew and the face and body he was looking at; Sebastian tried to not think about it while finishing undressing.   


Still, the more he looked, the more his mind accepted the fact that he was looking at a grown man, no matter the fact that Ruvik himself, or well, the scientist’s mind, was older than Sebastian.

  
Well… Leslie Withers hadn’t exactly given off the air of a grown man at the age of twentysix, when he was running away, cowering like a frightened animal and answered only in short fragments, like a child. However, when Ruvik steered the wheels, the man even became quite a bit taller, eye level being at the same height as Sebastian’s lips, or something along those lines; he was probably even taller like this, than his original burnt body had been. Of course, the fact that the body looked healthy, the paleness having more to do with his albino nature than anything else, made a pretty damn big difference too. 

It would likely be pretty fucking insane, or at least very much failing logic, to proclaim that he had any real issues with the body of a normal looking man, given that he hadn’t cared that badly with Ruvik’s original state, even if the circumstances were so vastly different. Hence, it was hard to use that as an excuse, when responding to the question.    
  
“...” He sighed and looked at Ruvik. There really wasn’t any other way than asking, and it shouldn’t be that damned hard to ask. “What does Leslie think about the-..” What the Hell was he supposed to call their relationship? 

Alright,... so that’s the fuckng issue; there was no smooth way or good answer to address their relationship. Ruvik hadn’t been clear on wanting romance or intimacy, making for a possible risk of it simply being taken out of the blue, and Hell, why should he even care. “About the intimacy; am I wrong to think you’d want more?”    
  


Sebastian then followed the other into the shower, not closing the curtain behind them, and leaned over the other a little, to reach out and start the water. He wasn’t being awfully close, he simply wasn’t avoiding to touch or bump into the other. 

 

  
  
**Ruvik:**   
Sebastian was forming a question, it was rather clear on his face, as his brows always seemed to curl closer together but slightly upward, when he was trying to find a way to formulate himself. Ruvik wasn’t certain if it was something particular to the man or simply something people did when being uncertain about something. Either way, he chose to wait and let the other figure a way to express himself. He managed to form half a sentence, then stopped and tried once more, managing to form a complete one this time. 

The scientist was a tad uncomfortable to find that the subject had changed from Leslie towards himself, a stinging feeling spread over his face, causing the man to turn away somewhat as he realized that his face was heating. How ridiculous… Why did he have such responses after knowing fully well that this topic would arise sooner or later. He managed to get his face somewhat under control somewhat quickly, although he found it hard to face the other man or look at him right then. 

Not too surprising, it was a lot harder to express oneself when the words carried heavier consequences. He knew that but still hesitated to speak up. Back inside STEM, he could have forced the man to do anything, he had so much more power, out here, he could not even stop his cheeks from heating when the man asked about intimacy. 

“Before anything, we came to you because you are the best source of safety, and the only man, not under Mobius thumb, that knows about STEM. Despite our previous relationship and our agreements, you were the best option we had, as well as probably being the only man Leslie Withers would find to be a good companion to live with. I did not choose you because I wished to be intimate with you once more.” he was avoiding the question. It was ridiculous of him and yet a vain part of the scientist hoped that he man wouldn’t recognize it as avoidance but rather as a different type of answer. A quick glance at Sebastian told him that the detective knew that he was not answering the question, and was simply waiting for him to get to the point, which was an answer. 

Fine, an answer it was; “...” He sighed and looked away from the man to focus on the door handle instead. “I have already spoken to Leslie about it, he has no objections to such a thing, as he is very comfortable with you. And to… answer you question, yes. Yes, I do hope for such a thing, despite knowing the circumstances are very different now compared to then.” He would have preferred to have this conversation in clothes, rather than naked. 

  
  


**Sebastian:**

At the very least, the detective had asked for the information he was currently receiving, meaning that no matter if said information caused any form of discomfort, he would have to listen. Even with Ruvik’s little roundabout answers, that were still providing some sort of valuable information, Sebastian supposed, he still got the information he wanted. Only, said information was a little difficult to process.    
  
What was there really to say? Sebastian Castellanos wasn’t the most… emotionally vocal kind of individual, and in all honesty, the only person he had ever truly opened up to speak about intimate or private matters with had been his wife, mostly because Myra wouldn’t let him go be broody, or, in her own words, ‘mope alone.’ It had taken quite a bit to admit to himself that he felt more for her than simple attraction, and well, he was still a bit new to handling people’s most intimate and deep sides of their personalities, always having been a person who’d prefer not to know, and not to share. 

For a different thread on the same trail, there had been many, many sleepless nights when he had thought about his deceased friend, had thought of the one time in inside STEM where Joseph had reached out to him. Well, Sebastian had wanted to purely blame it on this coworker turning into one of those Haunted, that the man had wanted to kill himself, and had shown sides that, to the detective, was a complete stranger, far from the calm, analytical and sensible Joseph Oda. Of course, the man hadn’t suddenly turned into a stranger, he simply showed a side that Sebastian hadn’t connected with him, in the past. It was rather recently when he had started worrying about past matters; perhaps his brain was focusing on anything important that wasn’t the horror of what he had experienced, himself. What if Joseph Oda had always had sides to him that he was hiding, what if he had been in need, what if Sebastian hadn’t actually been aware that the man had suffered. The more he had been thinking about it, the more his head trailed back possible clues in his ex coworker’s behaviour over the years, there were surprisingly many things that would logically have made the man unhappy in his life, things Sebastian should have known, and been able to profile.    
  
Still, back in STEM, when Joseph had told him how he wanted to die, wanted to end everything, the detective had scoffed it off, aggravated and annoyed that the man was acting up so illogically, in a time and place where Sebastian was far too fucking busy surviving against the hordes of monstrosities, to sit down and comfort someone. Back then, he felt like he had simply talked sense back into Joseph, and that it had gone easily, but perhaps the man had simply swallowed it down, and hidden it. It felt… wrong, really fucking disgustingly wrong. Joseph had always been there for him, even if he never showed proper appreciation for it, and he never returned any of it. 

  
Sebastian really wasn’t good with any of this, had never been, and he truly had a hard time thinking he’d be better with people in the future; still, he was going to try. He had nothing better to do. Why? Well, that was pretty damned simple, it was the only thing he had left to do, in his state now. Besides, it was about damned time. He had failed all previous times in his life.    
  
Right, so back to the current situation. Ruvik was a mess, always had been, a mess that had been through a damned lot more than Sebastian himself had. Further, the scientist had led a life completely without intimacy and relationships, Hell, it’s what had started their strange relationship from the very beginning; the detective could provide something the man wanted.    
  
Even now, he really couldn’t find a reason to why he shouldn’t let the man have what he wanted. Ruvik had made him feel good, made him calm down; Hell, in discussions and deeper conversations, the man even sounded quite a bit like Myra used to. Besides, it wasn’t like he was about to go out and move on with his life any time soon, after everything that had happened; it wasn’t like he could live with or date someone who lacked the awareness of the Beacon incident, even more so when Sebastian was actually watched by that ghost organisation. It probably was for the best for both of them, to just be as comfortable as they could.    
  
That was… a Hella lot of reasoning to simply realise that he should let Ruvik have what he wanted. He trusted Ruvik when it came to Leslie, he had no reason not to, even if he had a feeling that the scientist would at least want to take the initiative anyway. Eh, most of all Sebastian had no way to tell if Ruvik was honest. Besides, it would be far cruel to take it all away from the man again, when he was finally alive and able to feel. He had probably been staring into the wall for a while, at least he realised that he had forgotten feeling like there were monstrosities outside the bathroom door. That was an improvement.   
  
He’d give it a try. The mess of a man, took a step forward, seeing that Ruvik had moved to the water, and stepped in right behind said man, putting an arm around the other’s waist, from behind, and then he pushed to move Ruvik just enough for the both of them to have some of the water. The man had evidently had a point; Sebastian felt a lot better sharing the space with Ruvik, with someone, and yeah, he was feeling more relaxed, so perhaps it was better to not overthink. 

The only thing the scientist got that was even remotely close to a response to words was probably just a gruff sort of huff noise. 

  
  


**Ruvik:**   
After some closer observation of the door handle, that became more and more interesting the longer Sebastian didn’t answer, the man realized that he was getting rather cold from standing at the outskirts of the water. The shower might be big, but the water didn’t reach all over it, meaning that he only got a few drops of water on his legs, where the water ray was the biggest. Leslie Withers wasn’t allowed to shower alone, instead he had needed help with such things, something the scientist and the patient prefered not to dwell their thoughts on, meaning that it was a tad unusual for the body to stand like this. 

Ruvik finally looked at the other man, and upon seeing him frown in that way, he simply chose to leave him be as he entered the water. It was… curious. Before, back at the hospital, he hadn’t had the time to fully explore how this felt. He had been careful when it came to showering all his life, with a very weak ray and now, his skin could easily take the pressure from the impact. Sometimes, his mind still projected images of scars on his arms, this was one of those times but the illusion was shattered as there was no pain to speak of. If anything, the water might be a little warm. 

He took a deeper breath, closed his eyes and leaned into the ray with his whole head. The water hit his cheeks, his nose, his eyelids, his forehead, his lips, his chin, the water moved over his head, running down his neck and back. He could feel everything, it almost felt like he was aware of every single ray that came into contact with his skin. Ruvik pulled back, now only feeling the water run off him and the hair that clinged to his forehead. He only had time to move his hands over his face, the smooth, unscarred hands, removing the hair when he felt someone moving up behind him. 

Despite knowing fully well that it was just Sebastian, he still flinched at the first touch, even if he allowed himself to be moved according to the man’s wishes. The bigger man was just behind him, their skin touching, which lead to the scientist realizing that his back was a bit more unused to touches than he had expected. The feeling of someone’s stomach against his back was warm, and instantly comforting, the arm around his hips made the gesture so much warmer which added to the comfort and feeling of safety that washed over him. It took him a tad longer to realize what felt just a tad off, that being that the only thing to lightly touch his buttcheeks was soft. When he realized that he had only ever experienced a penis by touch, before invading Leslie Withers’ body, was when he had been with Seb back inside STEM. He was very much aware that penises could be flaccid and usually were, unless aroused, but to have the man stand like this, he ended up forgetting that detail for a moment, feeling a bit of shame for not having realized sooner. 

The detective hadn’t answered him with words,... so the scientist was expected to answer, but the other man could get away with only this? So be it, he would get away with it, Ruvik decided, leaving the man to speak with his body instead. It was good enough for him, not to mention that the shower and the contact were good enough for the moment, almost more than he had dared hope for.

The moment lasted for a while, as he leaned against the man, while trying to not get water all over his face. It was a pleasant feeling to have water in his face, but not when it got directly into his eyes. Yet, the intimacy of… being close to the man, quickly made it harder and harder to resist other urges. He separated the two of them briefly before moving around towards the man, who looked a tad less handsome when covered in water than he had imagined, but still ever so attractive in his eyes. 

Seeing as neither of them were all that good when it came to speaking, it was easier to act, Sebastian had given him the permission he needed, after all. He reached a hand up and touched the man’s face, half curious as to what the beard stubble would feel like in the water, but mostly just wanting to touch him. His hand was soon joined by the other one, moving downwards to touch and explore his chest and body. He moved forward, lacing his arms around the man’s hips and moved in until they were skin against skin. The scientist was glad to being a tad shorter as to not be able to poke the other with his growing erection. It was curious to realize that his head was on top of the man’s shoulder like this, if he stretched out or stood on his toes, he could easily reach his lips. So he did. Reached out and claimed what he wanted, which in this case was the man’s kisses. 

  
  


**Sebastian:**   
To much of a relief, Ruvik seemed to get the hint all of his own, not forcing the detective to speak up about anything at all, related to the matters of attraction. The man was very sharp, and Sebastian assumed that the scientist had gathered enough data to read him somewhat, over the time they had known one another. 

Something became evident, as soon as the other man decided to turn things more intimate. The detective was, bluntly speaking, desperate. Of course he was desperate, it should be self explanatory that a man would be desperate for intimacy after this long time, but it was still a little hard to face the fact. It was probably a bit embarrassing, but he would have to consider those things, and perhaps learn to face it better, at another time; right then he just wanted to feel.    
  


Suddenly, his heart skipped a beat, and well, for Sebastian Castellanos that was something pretty damned fucking uncommon, unless happening out of fear, which had lately turned out a common occurrence. For a second, when the man that was holding him so close, pressing up against him, yearning and longing for intimacy, pulled himself upwards to lean in for a kiss, the look in his eyes had been familiar enough to send a chill down the detective’s spine. Leslie’s eyes were very much alike to Ruvik’s, enough to create a bit of cognitive dissonance, nearly making him see the face of the burnt man for a split of a second. Still, that wasn’t what was uncanny about it all, it was because those eyes, and even Ruvik’s eyes, looked a lot like Sebastian’s ex wife. They reminded of Myra. Strangely enough, it wasn’t something he imagined because he missed the woman, but the color and shape was rather similar, not to mention the look Ruvik gave him right then, before the detective felt lips claiming his own. It was a look of calm and possessive, of someone who knew exactly what they wanted, and wasn’t afraid to take it, wouldn’t beat around the bush and be too insecure about it. It was-... attractive.    
  
Sebastian had really gone about accepting that sexuality and preferences were, in fact, the least of his problems, right of the moment. It made the most sense to not question something like that, in comparison to Ruvik’s mere existence, or anything Sebastian had witnessed for the past year.    
  
It was a similar thinking to which he had back in STEM, to convince himself that he would have no issues with being intimate with a borderline walking corpse. He had rationalized that it wasn’t a big step in comparison to all the other terrors he had been through, and had been right, in a sense, that Ruvik’s presence had, for most part, simply been a comfort. It had been very easy to overcome the scientist’s circumstances, relatively speaking, under the circumstances of the situation.    
  
Still, this was different. Leslie, when he wasn’t acting or seeming like a child, was an attractive person, or well, Ruvik was attractive, in this current state. While it was true that Sebastian was still in a mental state which was, well, rather extreme and heavy to deal with, it was nowhere near the extreme circumstances which had warranted him to ignore all of his previous morals, preferences and principles.    
  
He-... wanted this. Fine, he wanted this. Ruvik wasn’t the source of a Hellish nightmare world, not anymore, he was simply the one person that Sebastian could be honest with, as it was, that he wouldn’t have to pretend with someone who already knew it all. Life had that peculiar way of surprising you, and not only until you had changed completely, would you realise that the change had snuck right upon you, and your younger self would never believe any of it to be even possible. However, then the change was already made and you would already be used to things, there was no real going back, and any of that worry or disgust your past self would have felt, would just feel silly, really.    
  
He returned the kiss, and let his arms slide around the other’s back, holding onto Ruvik closely and for the first time in God knows how long, he felt really fucking good. Monsters in the closet be damned, he didn’t give a damn right then.    
  
With Ruvik, maybe, just maybe, he’d be able to make it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \------- Facts & Headcanons --------
> 
> Ruvik lacking a dick: Let's be real; have you ever seen his character model? There are parts of his body that aren't entirely ruined by scars, but those that are, are very badly messed up. One of those areas is a huge burn mark that goes from his lower waist down to his crotch area. We do prefer writing things as realistically as we can, in many ways, meaning that his life has, of course, been a Hell of medical procedures simply to stay alive, and the lack of a penis is just added to the struggle of simple bodily functions. 
> 
> Joseph Oda is a mess: The little we know of the man's life is that he is American, and half-japanese, and that he is a bit of a disappointment to his family, who wants to be controlling of him. His family did not approve of his job, and his marriage was arranged with a woman who is supposed to have been very demanding, and not letting him choose a thing in the household. ( DLC spoiler warning ) Add this up with the DLC content of the first game, where he more or less, out loud, states surpressed feelings for Sebastian, and we probably can figure out that the man was unhappy in his life. 
> 
> Joseph being there for Seb: He was the one who forced Sebastian into rehabilitaiton for his drinking, after the loss of Myra and Lily, and simply has been there for him, and watching out for him, in the entirely game and plot. 
> 
> Bond themed wedding photos: ( Super minor spoiler of the second game ) This is, in fact, canon. I would urge people who play the second game, to, in the very end when they have a chance to walk around in Sebastian's old house, take a look in the living room, at their wedding photos. The photo is adorable. 
> 
> Ruvik reminds of Myra: Find a good angle or look closer at the character models, this isn't very far fetched at all. Most of all, their eyes are very similar, and had Ruvik not been ruined, he would likely have grown up to look a lot like her. We have no idea if this is a coinscidence on the creators's part, but it is nonetheless interesting.


End file.
